Fear Is An Illusion - Deepstash

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Lessons I learnt from getting fired 4 times

Fear Is An Illusion

Our Fear is almost never as bad as it feels.

If you are constantly learning, networking and building yourself into a better person, then setbacks are only crucial milestones in your progress and are nothing to be afraid of.

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Voltaire

“History never repeats itself. Man always does.”

Voltaire
History lessons
The most important lessons from history are the takeaways that are so broad they can apply to other fields, other historical times, and other people. 

The point is that the more specific a lesson of history is, the less relevant it becomes.

Adopting new views 

One of the interesting parts of the Great Depressions from history is not just how the economy collapsed, but how quickly and dramatically people’s views changed when it did.

People suffering from immediate, unexpected adversity are likely to adopt views they previously thought absurd. It’s not until your life is in full chaos (with your hopes and dreams your dreams unsure) that people begin taking ideas they’d never consider before seriously.

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset

Growth Mindset:

  • tend to understand basic abilities as malleable, and believe they can be developed over time.
  • love new challenges and view setbacks as opportunities to learn.
  • display better self-esteem, more resilience, and enjoy better outcomes in life

Fixed Mindset:

  • tend to believe their basic attributes )like intelligence and talent) are innate and set in stone;
  • avoid difficult tasks, fearing that failure might expose a lack in ability.
How to change your mindset

The 3 steps to encourage a change in mindset:

  1. Observe your mindset.
  2. Challenge your beliefs
  3.  Build a “growth” muscle.
Observe your mindset
You can’t begin to change a “fixed” mindset until you recognize it. 

Notice if you rush to conclusions about fundamental abilities:

  • Do you tell yourself that you’re no good at a particular task, so there’s no point attempting it 
  • Do you believe that success in certain kinds of activities are reserved for people who are naturally gifted?
  • Do you worry that if you try your hardest and fail at something, you’ll be exposed as “no good”?
When you feel rejected

At first, rejection interferes with your need to belong. You move through, not feeling good enough, not worthy, unlovable, confused.

Then you move to introspection, looking for the flaws within yourself that led to the failure.

It’s not about you

Instead of gaining control, you subject yourself to the opinion of someone else. It turns you against yourself and away from the truth.

You were not rejected; the outcome you desired was. Be honest about the motives. You might be wanting the wrong thing.

The pain is optional

Rejection means that you are going down the wrong path. You need to turn around.

Life is about learning and growing, and understanding that something better is waiting for you. You don't have to embrace the pain of rejection.