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A Stanford psychologist on the art of avoiding rude people
Check your own tendencies
- Sleep deprivation can turn you into your worst version.
- If you're tired and in a hurry, you are more likely to misbehave.
- If you have an excess of power in a situation, you're at risk.
Be self-aware and honest about yourself. Rely on people around you to tell you when you're out of line. Listen to them.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Maintain Physical Distance
The best way of avoiding workplace contagion by toxic workers is to minimize contact.
People are four times more likely to communicate regularly with individuals who are seated two met...
Slow the Rhythm
Slow the rhythm of your exchanges with toxic workers as much as possible. By doing so, you'll deny the abuser the positive reinforcement and pleasure they crave when they abuse others.
Reduce the frequency of communications. Limit meetings such that they are only scheduled on an as-needed basis. As well, when possible, minimize email communications and delay email response times.
Develop an Early Warning System
Oftentimes, an early warning system is best developed with the succor of a toxic worker's secretary or executive assistant.
Because these individuals are best suited to predict rash behavior and/or mood swings. If you're able to successfully enlist individuals in the know, they can be invaluable in terms of alerting you not only of an asshole's presence, but also of his/her daily levels of "asshole-ness."
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Key Ideas
What Vulnerability Really Is
Vulnerability is consciously choosing to freely express your thoughts, feelings, desires, and opinions regardless of what others might think of you.
Vulnerability is showing your rough edges ...
Accept who you are
When someone admits they are bad at something, they will probably be more respected.
Accept who you are, faults and all.
Taking responsibility
When you take responsibility for your problems, you're in control of the solution. When you blame others, you’re handing over control to someone else. And you cannot control them.
Taking up responsibility shows that you accept reality for what it is and set out to work with what you have.
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Key Ideas
The Way We See The World
Each of us looks at things differently, and it's largely based on our thinking patterns, education levels, inherent bias, self-identity, and real, first-hand experiences.
Higher Mind Vs Primitive Mind
Human beings tend to have two kinds of conflicting mindsets:
- The Higher Mind, the conscious truth-seeking mind, has made human beings an advanced civilization.
- The Primitive Mind is our hardwired, thousands-of-years-old survivalist part, the one that's still stuck in the dark ages.
The Psych Spectrum
Our Higher Mind and the Primitive Mind always have a tug-of-war like conflict. The degree of the conflict can be placed in a spectrum, which is called a Psych Spectrum.
If the Higher mind is in control, we are placed higher in the Psych Spectrum and have the Primitive Mind under check. If we are placed at a lower degree in the Psych Spectrum, then the Primitive Mind is under control.