Comparison-induced envy can be a great motivator and guide. It can also make us bitter.
Psychologists distinguish between benign envy, when we admire someone and try to emulate them, and malicious envy, when we dislike the other person for having what we want. It’s the difference between “They have a penthouse apartment, and it’s cool how they got it” and “I hate that their home has panoramic views, and I want them to suffer.”
To be clear: Both are painful. Benign envy motivates us to work harder to improve, while malicious envy makes us nasty.
We often feel malicious envy when we perceive scarcity. But in many cases, another person’s ability to achieve something is evidence that it’s possible for us, too.
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