The sum of our daily interactions and activities continually affects us, so that we are not the same as we were the week before or even yesterday.To accurately understand another person, we have to ask ourselves if this is really what the other person meant, and then to check it.

In a state of constant change

Once you know people well enough to feel close, there is a tendency to not listen carefully to them, because you think you already know what they are going to say.

Closeness-communication bias

The best way to maintain close relationships is through everyday talk. Don't just reduce conversations to logistics such as what to have for dinner.When you ask, "How are you?" you have actually to listen to the answer. You can't assume that you already know what's going on.

What can you do about it

The closeness-communication bias can also keep us from allowing our loved ones to listen to us.Its human nature to become complacent about the familiar. People will rather confide their most pressing and worrisome concerns to less familiar people because others are more likely to listen carefully, may ask the right questions and are less judging or apt to interrupt.

Trusting less familiar people

In a 2018 survey of 20,000 Americans revealed that almost half did not have meaningful in-person social interactions. About the same proportion said they often felt isolated and left out even when others were around.Electronic devices are also interfering with our ability to listen and understand those closest to us. The best way to overcome this is to put down our phones and then actively listen to what they have to say.

Many feel isolated

There's an unconscious tendency to tune out people you feel close to because you think you already know what they are going to say. "You're not listening!" "Let me finish!" "That's not what I said!" After "I love you," these are among the most common refrains in close relationships.

What can you do about it

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