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This Is the Right Way to Strive for Anything in Life

Experiencing lasting joy

Experiencing lasting joy

Setting a goal to meet a pinnacle can be great. However, if that is all you desire, you'll end up suffering.

But, if you are present for the journey, and sometimes forget about the end altogether, you'll experience lasting joy.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

This Is the Right Way to Strive for Anything in Life

This Is the Right Way to Strive for Anything in Life

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/the-right-way-to-strive/

thriveglobal.com

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Key Ideas

Harmonious passion

It is a state of being where you are entirely absorbed in what you are doing, known as flow by modern psychological science, productive activity by humanist philosopher Erich Fromm, and the right effort by Buddha.

Obsessive passion

Setting a goal and doing everything possible to pursue it is a great feeling.
However, often it is the very striving to be great that gets in the way of actually being great.

The richer experience

When we are young and insecure, passion or striving often manifest as looking ahead and craving external validation (becoming a champion or lawyer or millionaire or whatever).

If we gain wisdom, the energy of our passion and striving becomes less about achieving the goal and more about where you are on the journey at present. It is about having a richer experience of the present moment. With this as a focus, you are more likely to achieve success.

Experiencing lasting joy

Setting a goal to meet a pinnacle can be great. However, if that is all you desire, you'll end up suffering.

But, if you are present for the journey, and sometimes forget about the end altogether, you'll experience lasting joy.

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This is because there’s less pressure, so you can take more risks. 

The "Go big or go home" attitude
Taking small and consistent steps leads to big gains.

People with that “Go Big or Go Home” attitude tend to end up home. They get injured or burn out from doing too much, too fast, too soon. 

Goal setting gives focus

Life is designed in such a way that we look long-term and live short-term. We dream for the future and live in the present. 

Setting goals provides long-term vision in our lives.

Practical goal setting
  • Evaluate and reflect. Regularly write down where you are right now, and if you are happy with your current level of satisfaction.
  • Define your dreams and goals. What do you want? Schedule some quiet “dream time” and think about what really thrills you. Then prioritise those dreams.
  • Make your goals S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive)
  • Have accountability. Find someone to hold you accountable to your goals.
Good Enough

We all are told that greatness is the route to success. But Good is not the enemy of Great.

Going by the epidemic of clinical anxiety, employee burnout, depression, and other stress-related p...

Thich Nhat Hanh
Thich Nhat Hanh

“Success means finding happiness in your work and life, in the here and the now.”

Out of the Dream World

Remove the fairy tale, magical thinking from your life, and accept who you are and where you stand. Recognize your circumstances as they are and take appropriate action.

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Finding success

One of the most popular self-improvement expressions is "good is the enemy of great." Although it sounds appealing, it might also be wrong.

We are told that we have to strive to be great to ...

The meaning of true success

True success means feeling content with the unfolding of your life. It's finding happiness in your work and life in the present time and being great all the time.

Interestingly, not always trying so hard to be great is the path to getting better.

The right mindset

To make sustainable progress, you don't have to be consistently great; it's about being great at being consistent.

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Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence
Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence

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The good aspects of being perfect are intrinsic motivation, extreme focus, ambitious goals, strong work ethic and high personal standards. They are also highly coachable.

Elite performers are often perfectionists as their activity requires error-free performance.

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The 2 Models of Human Development
  • The 'Surrender Yourself' model dials up your levels of happiness as you progress from your basic needs (like food and good health) towards your achievements like recognized success, or ...
Self-Actualization

It implies acknowledging and respecting the sacredness and uniqueness of each kind of person. Self-Actualization also necessitates full access to information, full knowledge of the truth, and being able to choose without fear or social pressure.

The one thing left out of this theory is social psychology, as all the needs of a human being cannot be understood in isolation and social conditions are also necessary for personal growth.

Self-Transcendence

It involves advancing a cause greater and beyond the self, experiencing a drastic shift in perspective, beyond the confines of the self through the highest level of experience.

Self-transcenders have a completely selfless value system and are leaning towards serving humanity, with an eventual goal of transcending their ego.

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Finding meaning above happiness
Finding meaning above happiness

For many people, the pursuit of happiness is the meaning of life itself.

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The key to good living

Psychology agrees that the key to good living is to find meaning. For Nietzsche, those who do great things suffer greatly. Those who do small things suffer trivially.

Herein lies the paradox of happiness. Activities directly focused to increase pleasure are unlikely to have a high payoff. Happiness is a side effect.

Your resolve

The secret to effectively setting and achieving your goals is to have a large vision and an achievable plan.

The pursuit matters

The pursuit matters just as much as the goal.
Consider why you're pursuing your goal and how the journey to achieve it will help you grow as a person.

The right scope

People often give up on their resolutions because they set unattainable goals.

Try to set a goal that you can reasonably achieve within one year. If it is challenging to complete it in your set timeframe, you might become overwhelmed and give up. If the goal will take more than one year, try and set a benchmark for what you'd like to accomplish in a year.

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A strong romantic relationship

Extraordinary couples are like everyone else. Except they make their love intentional.

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The three keys to passion
  • Intimacy: Emotional closeness, communication, feeling that no one knows you better or has your back more strongly than your mate.
  • Thrill: Excitement, attraction, adventure.
  • Sensuality: The entire spectrum from kissing goodnight to holding hands, from making tender love to raw passion.
    Set daily relationship intentions

    Most mornings, commit to spending five minutes with your partner. Think of a relationship intention, then share it. "Today, I intend to be careful with my tone of voice when I feel impatient."

    Commit spending two minutes at the end of the day reviewing your progress and ways to improve it.

    Feelings are summary judgments

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    Negative feelings are very powerful and harder to question: we identify with them effo...

    Misunderstanding resilience

    Resilience is most times associated with being tough. But that’s not gonna get you very far with feelings. Don't try to be invulnerable. Aim for flexibility instead.

    You cannot avoid or resist all pain in life. But you can learn to live with your discomfort better.

    "Solving" emotions

    We have trouble dealing with feelings because the usual problem-solving rules don't really apply to them.

    When faced with a problem, we can always avoid it or deny it. But attempting to resist negative feelings won’t work. Any attempt at suppression only amplifies them. We must go from avoidance to acceptance.

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