We may help our partner figure out their issues but neglect our own. We find refuge in our partners, and sometimes a refuge where we can escape from ourselves. That is dangerous and unhealthy in the long run.
MORE IDEAS FROM Is Love an Act of Escapism?
If we want to live in a society where we take our emotional health seriously, where self-care, self-awareness, and self-love are valued, we will teach each other more about different perspectives of love.
With real love, we will accept and value ourselves without relying entirely on someone else for validation.
We tend to see romantic love as the ultimate savor that will overwhelm us with such passion and devotion, that it will take away all of our problems.
When we take care of our partner, we don't pay much attention to ourselves and our needs. We tend to avoid our issues and stop investing in the painful practice of self-discovery.
Love is not just found in romantic love directed at one person.
Love includes the depth of close friendships, the sense of belonging in a community, the intensity of an artistic practice or a connection to our work.
We usually consider moving into marriage in an attempt to preserve and prolong the happy romantic feelings that characterize the early stages of almost all relationships.
But in most cases, there is no real connection between those feelings and the institution of marriage: marriage tends to move us onto a more administrative plane.
Life passes us by in a hurry, and if we pay close attention, even to routine and boring chores, we are slowly able to get insights, which weren't visible before.
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