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Think about the negative interactions you've had with them. What topics tend to bring them on? How do you each express yourselves in these situations?
Now think about the good interactions. What is different?
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Insecure people feel more secure when they have a strong sense of ownership. Structure the work in a series of one-on-ones where both of you should have things to prepare for each meeting.
Working with difficult personalities can dampen our ability to think clearly and make sound decisions.
Here are their most common toxic behaviors, according to Harvard career expert Amy Gallo :
Count the interactions you've had with the insecure person. How many have been bad? All? Half? Less than a third?
You've now answered the most important question: How big is the problem? If you have more good interactions than bad, maybe the person is not that difficult.
While feeling insecure is natural, problematic behaviors can develop when people consistently attempt to conceal or compensate for their self-doubt.
Insecure types are extremely risk averse and unproductive. Some can be downright nasty or display abusive behaviors.
Focus on how the outcome of this interaction can create value for the other person. Ask yourself: "What would be a helpful result for them, and what reaction would I like to get?"
Prime your mind to host positive thoughts and have their best interest in mind.
One approach I like to use is to remind myself that the that the person is somebody's child. I ask myself: "Would I like someone to have similar negative thoughts about my kids or loved ones?"
Insecure types — whether in the form of a team member or boss — are all around us, so it's important to know how to deal with them efficiently.
The first step is to activate your detective mindset. Turn interacting with insecure people into a learning opportunity.
A lack of one-on-one syndication is one reason why strategies fail in companies.
Have a casual meeting with them or suggest a coffee break. Use this as a forum to get to know them.
Insecure people have a tendency to see gaps in arguments, so structure how you communicate with them in this order:
You want them to think of you as an ally, not a rival. Pay compliments and express gratitude and appreciation: "I admire what you do, and I'm excited to continue learning from you."
Lower their sense of uncertainty by suggesting a trial period, and include clear metrics for evaluating the decision.
For example: "How about we try this for three months and evaluate how it goes by measuring [X] once a week?"
7 Signs Of Highly Insecure People
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Once you know where it began, you can realize that you perhaps adopted the wrong idea about yourself based on what you thought was true in the moment.
If you struggle with low self-esteem, for example, imagine the first time you felt ashamed of yourself. Think about what made you feel that ...
These are simply the consistent ways we think, speak, and act in different situations. They are largely unconscious, which is what gives them their power—both positively and negatively.
Good habits lead to good outcomes.
Be aware of your negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. For example, instead of quitting your exercise routine, think about how great you feel.
Focus on the good parts of your life. Be thankful for what you have.
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