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The secret dance to a deep conversation.

Develop a taste for small talk

Whenever faced with uncertainty when trying to make conversation, you might want to consider making small talk. 

It can work wonders and it helps with getting to know the other.

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The secret dance to a deep conversation.

The secret dance to a deep conversation.

https://medium.com/@Loopward/the-secret-dance-to-a-deep-conversation-de3325c457e3

medium.com

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Key Ideas

Develop a taste for small talk

Whenever faced with uncertainty when trying to make conversation, you might want to consider making small talk. 

It can work wonders and it helps with getting to know the other.

Learn to ask the right questions

Making good conversation implies mastering the technique of asking the right questions, in the correct order, in a proper tone.

 The purpose is to get to know the other, without making it feel like an interrogation.

Asking deep questions

Once you have got the chance to get to know a bit more about the other, you can initiate the use of deeper questions. 

These allow you to create a bond and to show to the other person how interested you are in his or her life.

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Stay curious and engaged

After the initial breaking, you have to really listen to how the other person responds. What are they excited about? Ask them more questions about that.

Pay attention to body language. You will be able to tell if someone is losing interest, for instance, eyes wandering, crossing arms or turning away from you.

Exit gracefully

Not every conversation will be a big hit. You will run out of things to say. Be honest. Say you've got to go to the bathroom or say hi to your other friend. Then go.

Even though it might feel rude, remember that it will free up time to start another potentially interesting conversation with someone else.

"It's important to make the individual you are speaking with feel heard and understood. If you're not engaged in t..."

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Technology And Conversations

Your environment affects your personal relationships. Technologies like social media are making conversations harder and less engaging. But getting rid of it isn't necessarily the cure-all for most of our social interactions.

 If you have you've been feeling disconnected you can develop your conversational skills if you persist.

Become An Active Listener

Be engaged and listen to what they are saying. Show interest, ask questions and clarifications. This shows others that you care about what they are saying, and about them in the bigger picture.

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Scott H Young

"People don’t judge you so much for who you are as they judge you for how you communicate yourself."

Scott H Young

Be Funny and Interesting

  • Humor: It takes a lot of practice until you can figure out the natural timing and flow of a joke. Practice makes perfect.
  • Interest comes from having an interesting life. You can be interesting by telling stories  or by simply being quick to bring up an interesting fact.

Interest is similar to humor whenever people discover something they didn’t expect.

Tell Great Stories

  • You need to have an interesting point to make it worthwhile.
  • Your most interesting point should be the last thing you say in your story.
  • Keep it short.
  • Keep it personal. People prefer stories about people they know.
  • The more you tell a story the better you get the natural timing and emphasis. 

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