Defensiveness and toxic shame - Deepstash
Defensiveness and toxic shame

Defensiveness and toxic shame

Toxic shame is an emotion that most of us get to know throughout our lifetime: deep inside, we feel that we have failed ourselves or the others.

The actual issue, when this occurs, is that we tend to become defensive and attack the other instead of just accepting our fault and try making it better.

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hashimi

"If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. " ~ Derek Bok

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Shame And Guilt

  • Guilt is related to shame but is easier to rectify, as we focus our attention on the other person and apologize, accepting responsibility.
  • Shame is an inward emotion that makes us view our entire self in a bad light, with us getting punished by our conscience.
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Guilt and Shame Defined

Guilt and Shame Defined

  • Guilt is defined as an emotional state that appears when we feel we have failed to live up to the morals of ourselves or others.
  • Shame is defined as an intense feeling about the self that comes from failing to live up to your own or others' standards.

Label How You Feel

Each of us already has this natural communication system that feeds us information all the time. So when we close down and become defensive—for a few minutes, a few days, months or even a lifetime—we’re cutting ourselves off not only from others, but also from our natural ability to commun...

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