Toxic shame is an emotion that most of us get to know throughout our lifetime: deep inside, we feel that we have failed ourselves or the others.
The actual issue, when this occurs, is that we tend to become defensive and attack the other instead of just accepting our fault and try making it better.
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Anybody who is obsessed with the idea of being perfect will most probably end up having a major frustration. To put it simply, making mistakes is just natural for us, humans.
On the other, even though feeling ashamed for what you have done is quite upsetting, not taking responsibility or pretending to be someone you are not is way worse.
When making a mistake, some individuals find it extremely difficult to admit and apologize. This often leads to misunderstandings and even more tense relationships.
On the contrary, self-confident people will freely admit whenever they have made a mistake or have been wrong about something, as self development is possible only by acknowledging our own weaknesses.
When having to confront possible failures and, therefore, future shame, most of us have the tendency to postpone taking actions that might result in unsuccessful trials.
Better than becoming an adept of procrastination, try accepting professional help and learning how to cope with shame. It will most probably lead to highly satisfactory results.
No matter what we tell ourselves, we are not committed fully towards most things. We tend to be different people, committing to change our diet, exercise or start on a certain goal, only to become someone different and get distracted, or simply procrastinate.
We are not fully committed to ourselves or even to other people.
We let ourselves and others down break promises, and this is affecting us and everyone around us.
Chances are, at some point in your life, you’ve tried to change your behavior through sheer willpower. And chances are, you also failed miserably. Don’t feel bad! This is what happens most of the time.
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