Toxic shame is an emotion that most of us get to know throughout our lifetime: deep inside, we feel that we have failed ourselves or the others. 
The actual issue, when this occurs, is that we tend to become defensive and attack the other instead of just accepting our fault and try making it better.

Defensiveness and toxic shame

When making a mistake, some individuals find it extremely difficult to admit and apologize. This often leads to misunderstandings and even more tense relationships. 
On the contrary, self-confident people will freely admit whenever they have made a mistake or have been wrong about something, as self development is possible only by acknowledging our own weaknesses.

Shame and apologies

When having to confront possible failures and, therefore, future shame, most of us have the tendency to postpone taking actions that might result in unsuccessful trials. 
Better than becoming an adept of procrastination, try accepting professional help and learning how to cope with shame. It will most probably lead to highly satisfactory results.

Putting things off

Anybody who is obsessed with the idea of being perfect will most probably end up having a major frustration. To put it simply, making mistakes is just natural for us, humans. 
On the other, even though feeling ashamed for what you have done is quite upsetting, not taking responsibility or pretending to be someone you are not is way worse.

Obsessed with perfection

Many of us are quietly plagued by a nagging sense being flawed or defective. We secretly believe that we're a failure, which stifles our energy, cramps our freedom, and prevents us from being ourselves. Toxic shame is a painful emotion. In fact, so painful that may not even notice it.

Defensiveness and toxic shame

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