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How to Communicate Your Self-Care Needs to Your Partner
Communicate your needs
To have a successful and productive conversation with your partner about your needs and desires:
- Timing is everything. Set a time aside together that is free of distractions, relatively peaceful, and not when you are overtired.
- Remember, you're on the same team. Handle the conversation with gentleness and without criticism.
- Actively listen. To encourage understanding, don't just listen to respond. Truly try to understand how your partner feels.
- It's about giving and taking. Relationships are about mutual understanding, compassion, and sacrifice.
- Do regular relationship checkups to foster connection and open communication.
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Personal needs
Working parents tend to focus all their energy on work or family and put their own needs on hold. With the current crisis, parents have even less time for their own needs while they juggle work and family life.
But the benefits of taking care of ourselves are undeniable. And while we know the benefits, it can be challenging to communicate our personal needs to our partner.
Know what you need
Take two minutes right now and list what would most benefit you. It could be taking 15 minutes to decompress after work. Or to have a few hours a week to read a book. Or even guitar lessons.
Highlight what sticks out to you the most on your list. Then decide what top few choices are suitable for your available time and finances.
Communicate your needs
To have a successful and productive conversation with your partner about your needs and desires:
- Timing is everything. Set a time aside together that is free of distractions, relatively peaceful, and not when you are overtired.
- Remember, you're on the same team. Handle the conversation with gentleness and without criticism.
- Actively listen. To encourage understanding, don't just listen to respond. Truly try to understand how your partner feels.
- It's about giving and taking. Relationships are about mutual understanding, compassion, and sacrifice.
- Do regular relationship checkups to foster connection and open communication.
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Emotions During a Difficult Conversation
It’s hard not to get worked up emotionally when you’re in a tense conversation: a disagreement can feel like a threat.
But if your body goes into “fight or flight” mode, ...
Breathe
When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).
This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.
Focus on your body
Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate.
Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.
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Communicating with your partner
- Don’t make assumptions about how the other person feels.
- Foster mindful communication, especially if you’re feeling scared or upset. Pay attention to your reactions.
- Accept ...
Open dialogue
Most of us have never experienced circumstances like the current one, so we have to accept that we will all cope with this differently and that’s okay.
Foster open dialogue and try to be as clear as possible with each member of your family or with your partner.
For the whole family
- Establish a routine to avoid randomness. Our brains love patterns.
- We are going to stay inside for a while, so it's best to set family goals and expectations.
- Designate areas of the house, such as ‘work’, ‘chill-out’, ‘privacy’ and ‘interaction’.
- Don’t avoid answering kids' questions about the pandemic and what is causing it.
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Key Ideas
Self-Care
This is a process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being. It’s vital for building stress resilience and better equip you to live your ...
Physical Self-Care
You need to take care of your body if you want it to run efficiently.
Physical self-care includes your eating, exercising and sleeping habits and how well you're caring for your physical needs. Attending appointments, taking medication as prescribed, and managing your health are all part of good physical self-care.
Social Self-Care
Socialization and close connections are key to your well-being. The best way to cultivate and maintain close relationships is to put time and energy into building your relationships with others.
Everyone has slightly different social needs. The key is to figure out what your social needs are and to build enough time in your schedule to create an optimal social life.
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