Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.
Falling apart and then seeking to mend the old relationship seems to be deeply rooted in our psychology.
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When people experience breakups they go through the ‘protest’ phase initially, and the rejected lover becomes obsessed with winning back the person who has quit the relationship.
Rejection, paradoxically, makes the rejected person love the partner even more. This is called a ‘Frustrati...
Post-relationship relations are a thing, with the ex doing all kinds of things like ghosting, orbiting, benching and zombieing their past lovers. Social media makes breakups visible, so any broken relation has the necessary audience to play out the post-breakup games.
They play an important part in moving towards forgiveness. A bad present relationship (or lack of it) makes the lover remember the good times with the ‘known devil’, with feelings of loss and grief surfacing. Lovers who are now single have stronger desires to get back to their ex, as they fear th...
The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.
Some people also f...
They take the breakup game seriously, and are vulnerable to anxiety, depression and even suicide, due to a lack of understanding of life and the public nature of their relationships.
The smartphones and tablets that seem to be surgically attached to them right from birth are a cause of the...
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Our own partner preferences may not be fully understood by us.
published 2 ideas
Attachment theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between people, starting with your parents. The quality of how well you were cared for will then influence the nature of your relationships later in life.
There are four attachment strategies: secur...
To us, being loved in a relationship is perhaps the highest ideal. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Being loved validates our sense of self-esteem and soothes our fears of loneliness.
Our brains are also wired to fall in love. Dopamine provides a natural high and ecstatic fee...
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