Why is it so hard to forgive an ex?

The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.

Some people also feel increasingly passionate and loving after the breakup and are more likely to forgive their ex.

• Secure attachment is caused by healthy emotional communication.
• Lovers who are anxious and insecure tend to have low self-esteem.
• Avoidance of attachment is done by lovers who are emotionally unavailable and self-sufficient.

They play an important part in moving towards forgiveness. A bad present relationship (or lack of it) makes the lover remember the good times with the ‘known devil’, with feelings of loss and grief surfacing. Lovers who are now single have stronger desires to get back to their ex, as they fear they would remain single otherwise.

Past relationships, now easily found on Facebook, are generally viewed in a rosier light than they were when they were an ongoing relationship.

Post-relationship relations are a thing, with the ex doing all kinds of things like ghosting, orbiting, benching and zombieing their past lovers. Social media makes breakups visible, so any broken relation has the necessary audience to play out the post-breakup games.

They take the breakup game seriously, and are vulnerable to anxiety, depression and even suicide, due to a lack of understanding of life and the public nature of their relationships.

The smartphones and tablets that seem to be surgically attached to them right from birth are a cause of their getting into relations, breaking up from it, and also for post-breakup therapy and coaching.

• One of the popular ways to move on in a relationship is to not contact the person for 30,60 or 90 days, even forever, to help mend a broken heart.
• Social media posts of the ex are to be avoided.
• Time heals everything, and it would also help to get busy doing something interesting, instead of constantly sulking and overthinking at home.
• One experiences an emotional roller coaster of pain and anxiety, and then there is recovery.