Emotions and compassion - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Get an account to save ideas & make your own & organize them how you wish.

deepstash

Beta

Why we should say no to positivity — and yes to our negative emotions

Emotions and compassion

Identify your emotions with compassion.

Compassion allows you to foster a safe space inside of you, a space in which you feel capable of taking more risks: you’re ready to analyze and explore the world and you know that if things don’t go right, everything is still ok.

522 SAVES


This is a professional note extracted from an online article.

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Why we should say no to positivity — and yes to our negative emotions

Why we should say no to positivity — and yes to our negative emotions

https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-say-no-to-positivity-and-yes-to-our-negative-emotions/

ideas.ted.com

5

Key Ideas

Susan David

Susan David

“Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.”

Forced positivity

Suppressing or avoiding our difficult emotions is not healthy or helpful.

Doing this impairs our capacity to deal with the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. And this leads to lower levels of resilience, lower levels of wellbeing, and higher levels of depression and anxiety.

Labeling difficult emotions

An important way of dealing with a difficult emotion is to label it effectively.

Labeling your emotions more accurately helps you understand the cause of those emotions and triggers your ability to set goals and to make real concrete changes.

Emotions and compassion

Identify your emotions with compassion.

Compassion allows you to foster a safe space inside of you, a space in which you feel capable of taking more risks: you’re ready to analyze and explore the world and you know that if things don’t go right, everything is still ok.

You are not your emotions

Create space between you and what you’re feeling and act as an observer by naming all the aspects of your experience.

Don't identify with your emotions. Doing this puts you in charge rather than the emotion.

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

False positivity

We are caught up in a rigid culture that values positivity.

However, when we put aside our difficult emotions in order to embrace dishonest positivity, we fail to discover skills that can hel...

Tough emotions are essential for living

How we deal with our emotions affects how we love, how we live, how we parent and how we lead.

We should not view our emotions as good or bad, positive or negative. We need our emotions for real resilience.

Moving Beyond Emotional Rigidity

When we go through tough situations, we cannot ignore our negative emotions with the hope that they don't matter.

Write down what you are truly feeling in a personal notebook. Move beyond the rigidity of denial.

3 more ideas

Self-compassion can work wonders

Self-compassion enables you to take risks while being positive about the fact that even if things do not turn out your way, everything will eventually be fine, as you are still the same person.

Self-compassion and its effect

The main difference between individuals who show a certain level of self-compassion and the ones who show none or lower is that the first ones have the strength to stand up after having made a mistake, learn something from this mistake and be successful next time.

Learning self-compassion

A sure way of practicing self-compassion is by actually trying to learn lessons from all your experiences, especially the negative ones. 

You should stop judging these experiences as being good or bad, but rather look for the meaning of each and every one of them.

4 more ideas

Emotions

They are basal responses that begin in the subcortical areas of the brain responsible for producing biochemical reactions to environmental stimuli that have a direct impact on our physical state.&n...

Feelings

Feelings are preceded by emotions and tend to be our reactions to them. Emotions are a more generalized experience across humans, but feelings are more subjective and influenced by our personal experiences and interpretations, thus they are harder to measure.

Negative Emotions

They can be defined as unpleasant or unhappy emotions evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards something.

Although some are labeled negative, all emotions are normal to the human experience. And it’s important to understand when and why negative emotions might arise, and develop positive behaviors to address them.

6 more ideas

Emotional clarity

It means that we have a good understanding of how we feel emotionally. 

Label your emotions

Use plain language. The more fluent you are with real emotional language, the more clearly you will be able to think about how you’re feeling.

Clarify your emotions

Get used to the idea of emotional complexity. When we feel upset, we're not feeling one single emotion. We are usually experiencing a blend of many emotions.

Training ourselves to look for and see this emotional complexity is key to better understanding ourselves when we’re upset and moving on in a healthy way.

4 more ideas

Emotions During a Difficult Conversation

It’s hard not to get worked up emotionally when you’re in a tense conversation: a disagreement can feel like a threat.

But if your body goes into “fight or flight” mode,  ...

Breathe

When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).

This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.

Focus on your body

Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate. 

Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.

3 more ideas

How we feel about feelings
How we feel about feelings

Humans have always experienced boredom and loneliness and a need for acceptance. The feel of feelings is the same as it has always been.

However, how we describe those feelings has cha...

The theory of “constructed emotions”

How we interpret emotions is the result of our cultural context.

When boredom or loneliness is interpreted as something that is wrong and that should be avoided, then the feeling of boredom or loneliness becomes painful.

Boredom and changing your mental script

The word "boredom" did not even exist until the mid-the 1800s. When people were not mentally stimulated, they did not take it as a sign to find something to engage the mind.

Boredom does not have to be an affliction. It can be a gift of mental calmness to be filled with a richer interior life.

one more idea

Living through emotional reactions

Even in our most mundane moments. Our emotions aren’t always overwhelming us, but they are always affecting us, coloring our perceptions and opinions about ourselves and our world.

The “fish in water” effect

Because we are immersed in our emotions’ effects every moment of our lives, we tend to talk about them only when they’re exceptionally strong.

Emotions work like spectacles

It's a huge help to know which lens you’re seeing the world through, at any given moment. When we can identify the most prominent emotion right now, we’re less likely to project that emotion’s characteristics on the situation itself, or on the world at large.

Forced positivity
Forced positivity

"Look on the bright side." Amid a pandemic and widespread social unrest, experts caution us against phrases like these that are not only unhelpful but also toxic.

While cultivatin...

Toxic positivity denies reality

Positivity makes people appear more well-adapted and popular with their peers.

The issue is not the people who are genuinely upbeat but when people are forced to appear positive in situations where it's not natural, like illness, homelessness, food insecurity, unemployment, or racial injustice.

Damaging effects of toxic positivity

Forcing positivity denies a very real sense of despair and hopelessness and alienates those who are struggling.

Internalizing these messages can also be damaging. We judge ourselves for feeling negative and then feel bad for feeling bad. It postpones any healing or move toward problem-solving.

one more idea