Preparing For A Stressful Conversation

See networking from a different perspective: You’re not just networking because you should; you’re doing it because it’s good for your career.

Think about the people you would like to get to know and then carve out time to accomplish that goal:

• A few before the conference, make a 'priority wish list' of people you’d like to meet. 
• Send those people an email introducing yourself and asking to meet; if possible, get an introduction from a mutual friend or colleague.

Is to empower functional giving and receiving. 

If implemented correctly, it can replace knee-jerk reactions and old, ineffective patterns. It can be built like any habit.

• Take a mental step back and just watch what's happening in the current situation.
• Record these observations in your mind without assigning value to them. 
• Hold back from judgment or evaluation. 
• Say what you see, but not what you think of it. Examples: “What I’m hearing you ask me is…” or “I see that you want this…”

The goal of an effective 1:1 is not an update from your direct report or for you to lay down some instructions. It's a conversation. It's a chance to hear about your direct reports' ideas for your product, their career goals, and possibly their opinion of their performance.

Keep a list of three potential topics ready for discussion. When they say they have nothing to discuss, you can jumpstart the conversation with one of your items.

Your most precious resource is your own time and energy. When you spend it on your team, it helps build healthy relationships.

Your job as a manager isn't to give advice or 'save the day.'' It's to empower your reports to find the answer themselves. If you want to understand what's going on, ask. Let her lead the conversation while you listen and probe.

During a difficult conversation, be quick and direct. This is not the time for feedback techniques, as they will mask the point of the conversation and lessen its impact making it more difficult.

Often, the person knows that a critique is coming, so rather than dancing around the subject, just get to it. It’s better for both parts.

Be honest and thorough with your feedback, give examples and fully clarify why you're having the conversation.

The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received.

You pop up now and again to your connections and acquaintances (old and new), without any obligation to follow up or see each other in person.

• It helps you to connect even with your weak or dormant ties, that will, in turn, be able to help you if you with what opportunities they have. 
• You can connect via text or email, and you can take the time to compose thoughtful messages without being put on-the-spot.

... is to put you into someone’s consciousness for a few minutes, and vice versa.

In cultivating loose-touch connections, know that your network won’t appear all at once; it takes steady, continuous work.

Ask at least one question before changing topic to show you’re engaged. Gathering details makes it more likely that you’ll be able to establish a connection with the other person or find a way you can lend a hand.

Take a look at the person’s LinkedIn or Twitter account to get an idea of his tone, interests, etc. You’re always at an advantage when you know more about a person. It will be easier to relate to him and you might avoid awkward conversations.

Lateral thinking can bear huge dividends in certain parts of a business.

• In finance, there are seldom new approaches to fundraising being considered as part of business continuity planning. However, there are many opportunities to think outside the box and solve problems.
• People management is another area. The question to consider in HR is how to build talent pools for the future, and how to help people learn quickly and well.

The critical point is this: it does not matter where you work or what you do, the ability to problem-solve and think critically is an increasingly in-demand skill, especially in times of change or crisis.

A transitional object is someone or something with certain characteristics or qualities you can use as inspiration for new ideas.

For example, "What would Bruce Lee do?" He taught the importance of using the energy of your attacker. How might this inform your strategy?

• Stand straight.
• Hold your head up.
• Unfold your arms and relax your hands.
• Establish eye contact.
• Smile.

Connecting with friends means letting them to know you and vice versa.

Talk about yourself, disclose your life facts, opinions and feelings. This way, you have have subjects to talk about and you form lasting bonds.

When you start noticing yourself getting tense, try to focus on breathing (on feeling the air coming in and out of your lungs).

This will take your attention off the physical signs of panic and keep you centered.

Sitting still when you’re having a difficult conversation can make the emotions build up rather than dissipate. 

Standing up and walking around helps to activate the thinking part of your brain.

Instead of thinking of a cut-and-dry end goal to certain situations, creative people sit back and examine the problem in different ways before beginning to work.

If you find yourself stagnating by focusing on generic problems, try to re-conceptualize the problem by focusing on a more meaningful angle.

For example: Instead of thinking “What would be something cool to paint?” rather ask, “What sort of painting evokes the feeling of loneliness that we all encounter after a break-up?”

Creating “psychological” distance may be useful for breaking through a creative block.

Try to imagine your creative task as being disconnected and distant from your current position/location - this may make the problem more accessible and can encourage higher level thinking.