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Trauma and Fearfulness

The effects of trauma

Trauma shows up in our body in many different ways. It causes us to think illogically whenever we feel scared.

It may show up as:

  • fear
  • nightmares
  • social isolation
  • anxiety and depression.

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Straightforward people
Straightforward people

Straightforward people are easy to be around with because we know exactly what the issues are from the start. There is no need to guess or infer or translate.

If they don&...

Complicated people

Complicated people are very unsure about the legitimacy of their own desires, making them unable to let the world know what they really want and feel.

They may initially appear to agree with everything you're saying, but later on, their reservations will become known. They will say they want to join you for dinner but will inwardly ache for an early night. They will give the impression of being happy while crying inside. They will say sorry when they want you to apologize.

The reason for confusing complexity

The root cause of confusing complexity may come from fear of how an audience might respond if our real intentions are known.

The origins may have started in childhood. A child becomes complicated when they are given the impression that there is no room for their honesty. A child may have received irritation or open anger for their honesty.

Love is vital in recovering from serious mental illness
Love is vital in recovering from serious mental illness

Love is critical to help us keep faith with life and rescue us from severe mental illness.

In fact, anyone who has ever suffered from mental illness and recovers will do so...

Love is unconditional approval

When we are sick in our minds, we have this punishing sense of how terrible we are, even if we often can't point to a specific crime. We are appalled by, and unforgiving of, who we are.

In this situation, a loving companion can make all the difference. They don't try to persuade us of our worth. They make pleasant conversation about something that won't make us anxious. They can tolerate how ill we are and will stick by us. They love us for who we are rather than what we do.

Love and non-judgment

Patronising pity can make the attention of others oppressive.

Loving companions do not judge us as beneath them. They don't oppress us by clinging to their belief in their own solidity and competence. Our companions indicate that they too might one day be in our place and suffer with and for us.

Imagination: the power to find alternatives
Imagination: the power to find alternatives

Some of our most despondent moods are caused by failures of the imagination. Imagination here is the power to envision alternatives. When we're sad, we can't imagine fi...

We are people with choices

As grown-ups, we have choices. We are not small children where we have to depend on our parents for everything.

We could work as a bus conductor or retrain as a psychotherapist. We could volunteer in an emergency shelter. We can throw ourselves into learning a new language or take a university degree. We can look up old and trusted friends or make new friends.

Imagination: a chance of fulfillment

To increase our chances of fulfillment, we need to feed our imagination and provide them with endless examples of alternative narratives, so they are more able to come up with plan Bs. We should practice to picture better ways to be.

As part of creative classes, adolescents should be asked to produce narratives like: If I lost everything and had to start up again, I will... They should be asked to make a list of 20 things that currently make life meaningful, then have to cross them all off and find ten more.