WILLIAM JAMES

The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

To convince someone to do something, we have to frame it in terms of what motivates them. And in order to do that, we have to be able to see things ...

• Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
• Give honest and sincere appreciation.
• Arouse in the other person an eager want.

To be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.

Most people would prefer a good listener to a good talker.

We aren’t able to make real changes by criticizing people, and we’re instead often met with resentment. It’s important to remember that when dealing with people, we’re dealing not with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, who are motivated by pride and ego.

C...

• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Neversay, “You’re wrong.”
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Begin in a ...

• Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

We are interested in others when they are interested in us.

If you want to make friends, put yourself out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.

Principles to follow:

• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile.
• Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Be a good listener

One of the fundamental keys to successful human relations is understanding that other people may be totally wrong, but they don’t think they are.

Put yourself in their place. Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpo...

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us. In other words, we still lose.

People want the approval of those with whom they come in contact. They want recognition of their true worth. They want a feeling that they are essential to the world.

But they don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery - they crave sincere appreciat...

Calling someone by their name is like paying them a very subtle compliment. Conversely, forgetting or misspelling someone's name can have the opposite effect and make it feel as though we are distant and disinterested in them.

From the waitress to the senior executive,...

When talking with people, we should never begin with the points on which we disagree. We should start by emphasizing the things on which we agree, and be sure to convey that we’re both striving for the same result - our differences are in method, but not purpose....