My Unrealistic Self-image - Deepstash
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My Unrealistic Self-image

My Unrealistic Self-image

I’ve created this self image that I need to be a confident, charismatic guy all the time, and that if I don’t act confident, no one will like me.

The slight problem with this is that no one is confident all the time. And when I inevitably fail to live up to my own expectations, it causes me to question the foundations of my identity. Am I some loser who doesn’t know how to socialize? I hate weak people, and I hate myself  when I am weak. I am only worthy of love when I meet my own standards.

164

669 reads

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We are perfectly imperfect

We are perfectly imperfect

If I started thinking How come I’m not confident yet?  this will drive me to start worrying. Why am I not confident yet? I need to be confident  and this starts the thought loop of despair.

Accept yourself and then beyourself

160

654 reads

We are perfect just the way we are

We are perfect just the way we are

Zen master Seng-tsan taught that “true freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.”

I gradually begin to accept that: sometimes I act awkward, other times I’m confident. There’s parts of my personality that I like, parts that I don’t like. But, at the end of the day I’m human, a un...

182

677 reads

I am alive

I am alive

There is a life force that runs through all living things. Some people call it god. It is the creator, the enabler of life. God runs through us. We are life. We are god. We don’t need to do anything or achieve anything. We are already worthy of love. Because Love is the very esse...

163

793 reads

'Anxiety' does not exist

I focus my attention on how my feelings feel and where they are in my body. I allow myself to experience my nervousness fully.

I notice how the heaviness in my belly rises and lifts with my breath. I notice the tightness in my throat extending to my eyes, surrounding them with tens...

160

499 reads

Introduction

Introduction

You get social anxiety when you’re around certain people. That anxiety cripples you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious. Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Now you’re anxious about your social anxiety ➡️ more anxiety.

you’re so worried about doing the right thing all...

183

971 reads

Beating myself up

Beating myself up

After the party I go home and this is when I feel the worst. I start beating myself up. Cue thought loop of despair.

Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves. We pay for our mistakes thousands of times. We make a mistake, we punish ourselves. And you’d think that would be enough, but e...

163

727 reads

Embracing Imperfection

Embracing Imperfection

Psychologist Dr Kristen Neff talks about how:

There isn’t anything wrong with the imperfection of life as long as we don’t expect it to be other than it is.

Happiness is not dependent on circumstances being exactly as we want them to be, or on ourselves being exactly as w...

171

520 reads

Mind Game

Mind Game

I force myself to sound confident. I go up and say hello to a few people. My voice starts out strong, but then it starts to waver. Everything I say sounds like a question. Hi? How are you? I’m good? Great party?…

160

1.48K reads

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Self-Evaluation

Choose ONE word from this list of adjectives or pick your own to fill in the blank. When people first meet me, they think I am_____

  • Charismatic or boring
  • Outgoing or shy
  • Kind or judgmental
  • Intelligent or weird
  • Open or closed
  • Powerful or we...

Destructive thought patterns

Overthinking often involves two destructive thought patterns--ruminating and incessant worrying.

  • Ruminating involves dwelling on the past. "I should have stayed at my last job. I would be happier than I am now.""My parents didn't teach m...

Let’s understand with an example

It is essential to my understanding of the kind of person that I believe myself to be, that I am punctual. I also have decided that I am the kind of person who does not miss deadlines.

And so it follows, that me seeing myself as a developer and a writer is also val...

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