Focusing on the person instead of the issue - Deepstash
Focusing on the person instead of the issue

Focusing on the person instead of the issue

Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.

For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”

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MORE IDEAS FROM 6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make

Serious conversations while emotional

It’s best to remain as rational as possible when tackling issues such as money, marriage, and family.

Write down the main points you want to discuss with your partner before starting the conversation. Or do something relaxing that you enjoy before having a serious talk. 

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You don’t lead by example

When you change your own habits for the better, your partner will pick up on it.

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Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”

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When someone else is speaking, we are often waiting for our opportunity to say what we think, rather than actually listening.

Don’t rush in. Consider what they’ve said, and think carefully before giving them your response.

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It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them. 

This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.

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RELATED IDEA

Poor communication

The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based conversations.

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Not Editing Your Work

Spelling, tone and grammatical mistakes can make you look careless.

  • Don't rely on spell-checkers.
  • Proofread your work.
  • Use a dictionary to look up any words that you're unsure about. 
  • Reading your work aloud makes it easier to catch typos and tone errors.
  • Give yourself time to reflect on your document, and to make any final changes.

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Rekindling the Fire

Many couples have reached a cozy state of companionship. The humdrumness of life affects the long-term relationship.

It is not uncommon to lose the 'fire' and is unrealistic to expect consistency.

Though love, sex, and intimacy do fluctuate over our lifetimes, there are several possible ways to reconnect with your partner and rekindle the relationship.

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