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Making Small Talk and Dealing with Awkward Silences
- Have some good go-to stories.
- Use the FORD technique (asking questions about Family," "Occupation," "Recreation" and "Dreams) to turn small talk into an actual conversation
- Just enjoy the silence.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
- If you haven’t already, ask for their business card.
- Ask for their name and pretend you just didn't know their last name.
- Introduce the person to a friend and hope they introduce themselves.
- Admit you've got a terrible memory, but it's awesome if the other person has remembered yours.
- Pick a great first-date activity.
- Keep your expectations in check.
- Learn the science behind the perfect first date.
- Try not to sweat it even if things do get uncomfortable.
- Treat them delicately.
- Try having a discrete, polite conversation with the person or kill 'em with kindness.
- For coworkers who are slacking off, consider whether or not they are really a harming your work before making it your problem.
- Birds and Bees and Kids is a site that can help broach sex with your kids more comfortably.
- When talking about drugs, racial issues, or death, the most important thing is to meet the child where they are first and answer honestly and factually, however uncomfortable the situation might feel. Kids are taking their cues from you.
- Stick to the facts and try to find common ground when discussing controversial subjects.
- Prevent money arguments with your partner or with anyone else by taking the emotion out of it and having a plan in place.
- Don’t engage people who just want to cause controversy.
- Owning Up to a Mistake: Learn from it and turn those mistakes into steps in improving yourself.
- Helping Someone Through Their Illness or Grief: The Ring Theory is a good guide for knowing how to comfort someone.
- People Who Make You Uncomfortable: It's good to be uncomfortable now and then, can give you new perspective and purpose.
RELATED IDEAS
- Find common interests and discuss them.
- Encourage others to talk about what interests them.
- Be gentle or help someone out, even if it is on a small thing.
- Say something nice about another person or something associated with another person without being phony.
- Acknowledge the awkwardness. This is especially effective if you can do it in a humorous way.
- Others taking credit for your work: speak up when presenting your joint ideas, else the boss will remember that the other was the one who did all the talking.
- Overanalyzing your tone or watering down criticism: understand the difference between sounding arrogant and assertive.
- Noisy coworkers: work somewhere else in the office or record the noises that you make during a workday—maybe the noises aren’t as bad as you think.
- Beign interrupted during meetings: to speak with authority and presence you need to feel worth listening to, and you can develop it for yourself.
- Making friends in the office: invite a coworker to lunch or ask to join a group of them. People are often happy to have new additions.
- Firing a hard worker that isn’t good enough: set clear benchmarks, and let them know what will happen if they don’t meet them.
- You want to leave early but others work late: talk to your boss if there is no reason for the extra time.
- Your employees don’t respect you: project confidence in your new role, then be specific and clear about your expectations.
- Interviewing while pregnant: it’s an opportunity to show your resourcefulness and preparation. Be ready with a plan for minimizing the impact of your absence.
- You don't want to attend to happy hour: try coming up with some time during work to bond–like lunch or family-friendly weekend events.
Start with a statement: “This painting really confuses me” or “I can’t believe how crowded the train is today.” Statements are invitations to share curiosities, Nightingall says.
And whether you’re asking a question, replying, or making a statement, be authentic, she adds. “People want to get the real you so they can express the real them.”