Our most revolutionary changes in perspective often happen at the awful times in life. It's only when we feel serious pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be ceasing to function.Pain is part of the process.It's important to feel it. Because if you just chase after thrills to cover up the pain, if you continue to indulge in entitlement and delusional optimistic thinking, if you continue to overfill in various substances or activities, then you'll never generate the requisite motivation to actually improve.

Failure Is The Way Forward.

Uncertainty is the enemy of growth. Instead of seeking for certainty, we should be in a steady search for doubt.•Uncertainty stops us from judging others, it prompts the unnecessary stereotyping and predispositions that we normally have.•Uncertainty relieves us of our judgment of ourselves. We don't know if we are lovable or not; we don't know how attractive we are; we don't know how prosperous we could potentially become. The only way to fulfill these things is to remain uncertain of them and be open to finding them out through experience.

You‘re Wrong About Everything (but so am I).

Death frightens us. And because it terrifies us, we avoid thinking about it, speaking about it, occasionally even accepting it, even when it's happening to someone close to us.Death is the only thing we can know with certainty. The only way to be comfortable with death is to realize and see yourself something larger than yourself; to select values that span beyond serving yourself, that are easy and timely and controllable and tolerant of the turbulent world around you.

...And Then You Die

Rejection makes your life better. We need to dismiss something otherwise we stand for nothing. If nothing is better or more preferable than anything else, then we are empty and our life is meaningless. We are without values and therefore and without any purpose.The avoidance of rejection (both allotting and gaining it) is often a way to make ourselves feel better. But averting rejection gives us short-term pleasure by making us rudderless and directionless in the long term.

The Importance of Saying No.

The power of choice is one of the greatest gifts we human beings possess. We are always choosing regardless of whether we are aware of it. Till we die. When we forgo one alternative, we are indirectly choosing something else.When we choose our struggles, we feel strong and empowered. When those circumstances influence us against our will, we often feel miserable and unhappy.The genuine question is, what are we choosing to care about? What values are we choosing to base our lives on? What metrics are we using to measure our lives? And are those excellent choices - values or metrics?

You are always choosing.

'An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places.' Kirkus 'Hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you're willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f*cking better life.' Steve Kamb, bestselling author of Level Up Your Life and founder of nerdfitness.com EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN TOLD ABOUT HOW TO IMPROVE OUR LIVES IS WRONG. NOW SUPERSTAR BLOGGER MARK MANSON TELLS US WHAT WE NEED TO DO TO GET IT RIGHT. For decades, we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. Drawing on academic research and the life experience that comes from breaking the rules, Mark Manson is ready to explode that myth. The key to a good life, according to Manson, is the understanding that 'sometimes shit is f*cked up and we have to live with it.' Manson says that instead of trying to turn lemons into lemonade, we should learn to stomach lemons better, and stop distracting ourselves from life's inevitable disappointments chasing 'shit' like money, success and possessions. It's time to re-calibrate our values and what it means to be happy: there are only so many things we can give a f*ck about, he says, so we need to figure out which ones really matter. From the writer whose blog draws two million readers a month and filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humour, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is a welcome antidote to the 'let's-all-feel-good' mindset that has infected modern society.

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#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

You are always choosing.

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