It's easy to start making accusations, laying blame and making excuses. Be honest with yourself and take full responsibility for your own feelings, and for your interpretations that may have contributed to the breakdown.

Take responsibility for your own feelings

People tend to disagree when they don't understand each other. That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out.When you come to an understanding that most of us are more alike then we are different, you can begin to tolerate and accommodate--even appreciate--a different point of view

Seek to understand

Whatever may have happened in your past, you have to find a way to get past your triggers and see that you're in a new situation with a person who doesn't mean you harm. What's triggered is usually fear and awareness of one's limitations.

Look beyond your own triggers

A good listener gives their full attention, asks for clarification when necessary, and can listen to different opinions without becoming defensive or argumentative. The best way to listen is to be silent. That's when you can learn.

Be a good listener

If you speak in negatives, you will hurt the person and shut them down. if you can bring positivity to what you are trying to say, it's far more likely that you'll be heard, and that the disagreement can be resolved more quickly and easily.

Use positive language

In times of intense disagreement, it's not uncommon for one or both parties to have one foot out the door. If you want to truly get to the heart of the matter, make sure the other person understands your commitment to the relationship. Even if you have an issue with the behavior, you have to keep that separate.

Make a commitment

Look for common ground. When you concentrate on differences the space grows wider, but when you seek out what you have in common it helps bridge the gap.

Look for similarities, not differences

In every relationship, personal or professional, there will always be some disagreement. You will never find an environment where people always agree and that understand each other. That's fantasy, not reality. As a leadership coach I spend a lot of time working with my clients helping them deal with breakdowns in communication--and truly, a lot of disagreements amount to a breakdown in communication.

Seek to understand

7 Simple Ways to Deal With a Disagreement Effectively

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