7 Simple Ways to Deal With a Disagreement Effectively - Deepstash

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7 Simple Ways to Deal With a Disagreement Effectively

https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/7-simple-ways-to-deal-with-a-disagreement-effectively.html

inc.com

7 Simple Ways to Deal With a Disagreement Effectively
In every relationship, personal or professional, there will always be some disagreement. You will never find an environment where people always agree and that understand each other. That's fantasy, not reality. As a leadership coach I spend a lot of time working with my clients helping them deal with breakdowns in communication--and truly, a lot of disagreements amount to a breakdown in communication.

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Seek to understand

People tend to disagree when they don't understand each other. That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out.

When you come to an understanding that most of us are more alike then we are different, you can begin to tolerate and accommodate--even appreciate--a different point of view

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Look beyond your own triggers

Look beyond your own triggers

Whatever may have happened in your past, you have to find a way to get past your triggers and see that you're in a new situation with a person who doesn't mean you harm. What's triggered is usually fear and awareness of one's limitations.

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Look for similarities, not differences

Look for common ground. When you concentrate on differences the space grows wider, but when you seek out what you have in common it helps bridge the gap.

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Be a good listener

Be a good listener

A good listener gives their full attention, asks for clarification when necessary, and can listen to different opinions without becoming defensive or argumentative

The best way to listen is to be silent. That's when you can learn.

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Take responsibility for your own feelings

It's easy to start making accusations, laying blame and making excuses. Be honest with yourself and take full responsibility for your own feelings, and for your interpretations that may have contributed to the breakdown.

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Make a commitment

In times of intense disagreement, it's not uncommon for one or both parties to have one foot out the door. If you want to truly get to the heart of the matter, make sure the other person understands your commitment to the relationship. Even if you have an issue with the behavior, you have to keep that separate.

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Use positive language

Use positive language

If you speak in negatives, you will hurt the person and shut them down. if you can bring positivity to what you are trying to say, it's far more likely that you'll be heard, and that the disagreement can be resolved more quickly and easily.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

The art of disagreement

Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.

For this to happen, you have to listen mor...

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“You are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offense when they are challenged.”

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“I’ve seen people who agree on the major issues waste hours arguing over details. It’s more important to do the big things well than the small perfectly.”

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Disagreement Is The New Reality

The ability to have productive disagreements is a superpower.

But disagreement or an argument usually has toxicity associated with it, with judgment, self-protection and a sense of con...

Aligning the Argument

In a disagreement, often certain crucial information isn't available or isn't clearly understood by either person. We need to ask ourselves if:

  • The argument is about something that can be verified.
  • If it matters to you (meaningful).
  • If it is useful.
Then we need to make sure that the other person aligns and comes on the same page.

    Anxiety Spikes

    Anxiety spikes happen when something triggers us during an argument, usually when what that we care about feels threatened.

    We need to be aware of these spikes to guide us into the emotional aspect of the argument, rather than only focusing on information.

    Interpersonal Issues

    When it happens in the workplace, it can reduce productivity and make a dent in morale. 

    It takes on the shape that one person, or a group of people, frustrates or hampers another person...

    Types of Interpersonal Conflict

    • Policy Conflicts: disagreements about how to deal with a situation that affects both parties. 
    • Value Conflicts: they are typically pretty difficult to resolve because they are more ingrained.
    • Ego Conflicts: losing an argument, or being thought of as wrong, can actually damage a person’s self-esteem. This is like a power struggle.

    What Causes Interpersonal Conflict

    • Frustration and stress
    • Misunderstandings
    • Lack of planning
    • Bad staff selection
    • Poor Communication