Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
Whatever may have happened in your past, you have to find a way to get past your triggers and see that you're in a new situation with a person who doesn't mean you harm. What's triggered is usually fear and awareness of one's limitations.
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A good listener gives their full attention, asks for clarification when necessary, and can listen to different opinions without becoming defensive or argumentative.
People tend to disagree when they don't understand each other. That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out.
It's easy to start making accusations, laying blame and making excuses. Be honest with yourself and take full responsibility for your own feelings, and for your interpretations that may have contributed to the breakdown.
If you speak in negatives, you will hurt the person and shut them down. if you can bring positivity to what you are trying to say, it's far more likely that you'll be heard, and that the disagreement can be resolved more quickly and easily.
In times of intense disagreement, it's not uncommon for one or both parties to have one foot out the door. If you want to truly get to the heart of the matter, make sure the other person understands your commitment to the relationship. Even if you have an issue with the behavior, you have to keep...
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