Use positive language

Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.

For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.

Try to avoid getting into a fight-or-flight response, which inevitably leads to becoming defensive. 

• Be direct and assertive when you express yourself. 
• Stay focused on how you respond. 
• Know when the discussion or argument has accelerated to the point of no return. If it gets to this point, stop the interaction, and leave the conversation.

Let them fully state their point of view about the issue/conflict/problem without interruption. What do they feel people misunderstand about them? What do they want or expect from others? 

The idea is to remain as neutral as possible. Just listening may be enough to allow someone to feel like they have the opportunity to say what’s on their mind. 

• Policy Conflicts: disagreements about how to deal with a situation that affects both parties. 
• Value Conflicts: they are typically pretty difficult to resolve because they are more ingrained.
• Ego Conflicts: losing an argument, or being thought of as wrong, can actually damage a person’s self-esteem. This is like a power struggle.

• Frustration and stress
• Misunderstandings
• Lack of planning
• Bad staff selection
• Poor Communication

 ... often results in loss of productivity, the stifling of creativity, and the creation of barriers to cooperation and collaboration.

Leaders who don’t deal with conflict will eventually watch their good talent walk out the door in search of a healthier and safer work environment.

1. Communication: Conflict due to the lack of information, poor information, no information, or misinformation. Clear, concise, accurate, and timely communication of information will help to ease both the number and severity of conflicts.
2. Emotions: Letting emotions drive decisions. Don't place emotional superiority ahead of achieving your mission.

• It helps to create effective brand messaging.  It determines how your brand is perceived and also builds trust with customers.
• Customer service relies on good communication. "60% of consumers have stopped doing business with a brand due to a poor customer service experience."  Microsoft’s 2016 Global State of Customer Service Report.
• It enables positive team relationships.  Effective communication helps to unite teams and create a safe environment to express themselves.

• It helps to prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. It can help to defuse a potentially explosive dispute while bad communication can set it off.

1. Using a One-Size-Fits-All Communication Approach. Tailor the communication style to the intended audience.
2. Speaking More and Listening Less. Listen to what is said, how it is said, and to what is not said.
3. Assuming Instead of Asking More Questions.
4. Using Negative Tone. Choose words carefully to eliminate negative reactions.

5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations.

6. Reacting, Not Responding.

7. Not Keeping an Open Mind. Accept and respect differences, listen without judgment and consider all sides of an issue.

• Preying upon your sense of self and self-esteem
• Using what you’ve told them in confidence against you
• Lying to you
• Criticizing you
• Manipulating you
• Mocking you
• Making demands of your time
• Bullying you
• Lording a superior attitude over you

• Moving into your personal space
• Touching you without permission
• Being inappropriate or too familiar towards you
• Violating your privacy
• Damaging or destroying your personal property
• Threatening you with physical harm

In a disagreement, often certain crucial information isn't available or isn't clearly understood by either person. We need to ask ourselves if:

• The argument is about something that can be verified.
• If it matters to you (meaningful).
• If it is useful.

Anxiety spikes happen when something triggers us during an argument, usually when what that we care about feels threatened.

We need to be aware of these spikes to guide us into the emotional aspect of the argument, rather than only focusing on information.

• Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
• Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
• Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
• Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.

Most want to grow and learn, else they feel the workplace is static and dull. Professional development for employees lets them grow in their careers and know that the organization and you are invested in their success.

A clearly communicated vision sets the direction and lets people know where to focus. Without it, even the best employees are less effective, because it's hard to excel if you don't understand the big picture.