Turn Small Talk Into Intriguing Talk

Turn Small Talk Into Intriguing Talk
  • Twist a “light topic” with a serious tone: use what you already know to ask more personal questions or go deeper into topics.
  • Play it straight: admit that you don’t like to chit-chat, and have a few discussion topics or questions ready to toss out.
  • Issue an invitation: when you are in public and have something secretive to discuss, say you’d like to talk later. 
  • Compliment: do so preferably on an area you wanted to discuss with them, then ask a question that starts the dialogue. Sincere compliments make the conversation deeper.
  • Be Vulnerable: speak your mind and end with a question. Others will often reciprocate about what they think or feel. 

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Make note of something pleasant

"This dip is delicious!" "Nice turnout for this event!"

There's something positive to say in nearly every situation, so find it and say it. Don't say something negative because it's much too risky.

When small talk dries up, it's often due to "mirroring." In our efforts to be polite, we answer questions directly, repeat their observations, or just agree with whatever they say.

For example, one person would say, "It's a beautiful day," and we might answer, "Yes, it's a beautiful day." Instead, we could practice the art of disruption. To move the dialogue forward, we could reply: "They say that the weather was just like this when ... happened (insert a historical or personal moment)"

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