<ul>
<li>People are more connected, digitally, than ever. Yet loneliness is epidemic.</li>
<li>Combat loneliness by listening to others without distraction.</li>
<li>Elevate your small-talk skills by embracing authentic curiosity.</li>
<li>Having productive conversations about uncomfortable topics requires empathy. Show appreciation and gratitude.</li>
<li>Become a better digital communicator by focusing on your intent.</li>
<li>People will still seek out the human connection in the post-pandemic world.</li>
<li>Strengthen your connections by expressing vulnerability.</li>
</ul>

Key Takeaways

US surgeon general Vivek Murthy describes five forms of being alone – the first four of which can damage your mental and physical health:
<ul>
<li>Intimate loneliness – You long for someone in whom you can confide or an intimate partner.</li>
<li>Relational loneliness – You yearn for quality social companions and friendships.</li>
<li>Collective loneliness – You feel you lack a community of like-minded individuals.</li>
<li>Isolation – You’re physically alone.</li>
<li>Solitude – Unlike the first four states of being, solitude is a peaceful state of voluntary isolation, often for the purpose of self-reflection.</li>
</ul>

The Five Forms Of Being Alone

Healthy relationships generate a slew of positive benefits. Research shows, for example, that doubling your number of friends boosts your well-being as much as increasing your income by 50%. But despite humanity’s need for connection, people everywhere are experiencing increased loneliness. In 2018, 22% of American adults reported that they often or always felt isolated or lonely. The 2020 coronavirus pandemic has sent such feelings into overdrive..

The Importance Of Healthy Relationships

Digital forms of communication abound, but social connection platforms can actually exacerbate feelings of loneliness. For example, people who passively scroll and post status updates on Facebook – as opposed to engaging with others via comments – actually feel more isolated

Connected Yet Isolated

You can overcome your feelings of loneliness by cultivating stronger listening skills, which allow you to better connect with others. 
People can be bad listeners for many reasons: They’re busy formulating responses while the other person is still talking, or they have an intense emotional reaction to something someone is saying. They might be impatient with the speed with which the other person is conveying information. Or their smartphones distract them.

Combat Loneliness by Listening to Others Without Distraction

Slow down and be intentional with your focus. Put away your devices. Don’t force a conversation to follow your own agenda. Instead, try asking open-ended questions, letting others direct the flow of the conversation.

Cultivate Stronger Listening Skills: Beat Distraction

You aren’t really listening if you’re busy predicting what someone is going to say next.When people repeat phrases or words, they’re often revealing their primary focus, which is valuable information.

Listening With Awareness

When people express intense emotions, avoid the impulse to react emotionally too. Instead, ask neutral questions like what makes the issue so important to them.Spark your curiosity instead of falling in the emotional roller coaster.

Let Emotions Spark Your Curiosity

<ul>
<li>Use your eyes – To better understand others, pay attention to body language clues, such as your conversation partner protectively crossing his or her arms.</li>
<li>Embrace a “beginner’s mind” – Remain open-minded, letting go of any assumptions of your own expertise.</li>
<li>Ask the right questions – People view others as strong listeners when they ask thoughtful questions. Good questions typically use the words “what” and “how.”</li>
</ul>

Tips For Better Listening

Build stronger social ties by cultivating curiosity about others. Research shows that people feel closer to conversation partners who express curiosity. They also view such individuals as more attractive. Curious people care about what’s happening around them and genuinely want to hear people’s stories. They have an open-minded approach to listening, which makes them appear more trustworthy.

Elevate Your Small-Talk Skills

People often conceal their true feelings from others when performing social roles. For example, when making a sales pitch, you might pretend to be confident when you’re actually feeling insecure. Yet a willingness to show others your authentic self is the bedrock of healthy relationships. You might assume that displaying vulnerability will cause others to view you as weak, but the reverse is true: Research shows that people like individuals who display vulnerability better than those who don’t.

Expressing Vulnerability

Ask yourself why you want to tell a story. Are you hoping to entertain, enlighten, persuade or give information to your listeners? Think about your audience’s concerns and priorities, and how your story could service those needs.

Reflect On The Purpose Of Your Storytelling

<ul>
<li>Share a secret or unexpected truth – Revealing something unexpected about yourself (provided you’re not oversharing with the wrong people) can intrigue your listeners.</li>
<li>Include vivid details – Improve your storytelling skills by sharing the details of what you could hear, see, taste, touch and smell.</li>
</ul>

Tips To Show Vulnerbility

<ul>
<li>Share a transformational truth – If you want people to celebrate your success with you, then share the struggles and moments of conflict you faced before reaching your goal.</li>
<li>Establish your credibility – People are attracted to credible people who display vulnerability, but they’re repelled by those they perceive as lacking in competence.</li>
<li>Be genuine – People can tell when you’re trying to manipulate them with contrived stories about your vulnerable moments.</li>
</ul>

Being Vulnerable: Establish Your Crediblility By Sharing Truth

Use these strategies to minimize unproductive conflicts, navigate uncomfortable conversations and build empathy with others:
<ul>
<li>Practice – Spend a moment trying to take someone else’s perspective. Imagine how you’d feel if you were in another person’s situation.</li>
<li>Challenge yourself – Try to imagine how a person with views opposed to your own, such as someone with differing political beliefs, might feel about the situation or subject matter under discussion.</li>
<li>Recognize your biases – Everyone has unconscious biases, which can prevent people from empathizing with others.</li>
</ul>

Minimize Conflicts

<ul><li>If you want to strengthen your bonds with others, approach conversations with a spirit </li><li>of generosity and gratitude. Take time to show others you appreciate them by making them “feel famous.” </li><li>You see them and are grateful for their presence and contributions to the world.</li><li>A spirit of generous gratitude could completely transform the way you interact with the people in your life, if you let it.</li></ul>

Show Appreciation and Gratitude

<ul>
<li>Take notes – Jot down notes about new people you meet. Refer to your notes before you see them next.</li>
<li>Give people access to you – To build trust with others and make them feel valued, share something with them that you don’t share with everybody you meet.</li>
<li>Praise them – Pay people specific compliments about things they’ve done. Note concrete ways their actions positively affected you or others.</li>
<li>Celebrate milestones – Create unforgettable experiences for people to help them celebrate their milestone moments.</li>
</ul>

Tips To Make Others Feel Better

Focus on other people’s faces when they tell you their names. To further cement a name in your memory, ask a question about the name, such as how to spell it. Or make a connection between the name and something/someone else. You can also try using a person’s name in conversation.

Remember Names

<ul>
<li>Use emojis when appropriate – Basic icons, such as thumbs-up symbols and smiley faces, help the recipient of a text-based message understand your desired tone.</li>
<li>Describe your emotions in video and voice calls – Use words to convey specific emotions. </li>
<li>Be energetic – People will find you more sincere if you communicate energetically than when you speak monotonously.</li>
<li>Don’t stare at your self-view – When you’re having video calls, hide the window displaying your own face to avoid feeling self-conscious and distracting yourself.</li>
</ul>

Become a Better Digital Communicator by Focusing on Your Intent.

Make a video of yourself reading something you’ve prepared, and watch it. Reflect on your performance, particularly on your effectiveness in conveying emotions. Make adjustments as necessary before attempting a live video call.

Record Yourself

When the pandemic ends, people will likely hug their friends again and greet one another physically. In the meantime, people will continue to find new ways to connect digitally, such as using virtual “buddy check-in” systems to help manage feelings of isolation.

Connection Styles

The future workplace is hybrid, with people working both from home and in offices. Leaders will need to proactively work to help their teams feel a sense of community and social connection.

Relationships First

A new age look at communication and relationships

You are one conversation away from changing your life. We all crave connection. We were never meant to live alone or communicate only in "likes" and retweets. In Every Conversation Counts, TV host and human connection keynote speaker Riaz Meghji digs deep into the dangers of isolation and loneliness, our social pandemic, that have been brought into sharp relief by the coronavirus crisis. He tackles a uniquely modern question: why are we so connected, and yet so alone--and how can we reconnect? Sharing personal insights from powerful interviews and years of on-air experience, Meghji offers 5 simple habits for building extraordinary relationships. He explains how to spark authentic conversations, win trust, create new business, and collaborate effectively. Meghji points a way forward to a better future--one in which we express genuine curiosity about others, listen with our whole hearts, show up as our authentic selves, and make every conversation count.

career

Career

habits

Habits

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

You are one conversation away from changing your life. We all crave connection. We were never meant to live alone or communicate only in "likes" and retweets. In Every Conversation Counts, TV host and human connection keynote speaker Riaz Meghji digs deep into the dangers of isolation and loneliness, our social pandemic, that have been brought into sharp relief by the coronavirus crisis. He tackles a uniquely modern question: why are we so connected, and yet so alone--and how can we reconnect? Sharing personal insights from powerful interviews and years of on-air experience, Meghji offers 5 simple habits for building extraordinary relationships. He explains how to spark authentic conversations, win trust, create new business, and collaborate effectively. Meghji points a way forward to a better future--one in which we express genuine curiosity about others, listen with our whole hearts, show up as our authentic selves, and make every conversation count.

Riaz Meghji

Every Conversation Counts

<ul><li class="ql-indent-1"> There are four habits that show you how to have successful relationships: 1- Be curious, not critical. 2 - Be careful, not crushing. 3 - Ask, don't assume. 4 - Connect before you correct.</li><li class="ql-indent-1">Manage the Emotional Bank Account. This is important to create the foundation for successful relationships. If you make more withdrawals than deposits your relationship will struggle. Keep a healthy balance.</li><li class="ql-indent-1">You can explore relationships on two dimensions. Motivation - How motivated are you to maintain and improve this relationship? Ability - How able are you to maintain and improve this relationship?</li></ul>

The Three Big Ideas

Great relationships don’t just happen – they are built on purpose.

Focus on building Relationship Intelligence, not only Emotional Intelligence:Relational Intelligence – our ability to connect, and stay connected, with the people around us.Emotional Intelligence - awakening (or improving) our ability to handle our own emotions and how they impact the people around us.

How To Have Successful Relationships: The Big Ideas Expanded

This habit is all about developing our self-awareness (and other-awareness!) through understanding fundamental differences, learning to give each other ‘space and grace’ to shine in our own strengths, and overcoming the frustration of unmet expectations.

Habit #1: BE CURIOUS, not critical

This one is all about self-management, building strong skills in managing conflict, learning to treat each other well no matter how heated the argument, and working toward genuine resolutions so that relationships are strengthened not damaged through conflict.

Habit #2: BE CAREFUL, not crushing

This habit is all about developing the social skills to build mutual trust and respect in relationships by clarifying values, having courageous conversations about things that really matter to us when necessary and overcoming the hurdles of mistrust and distance that can creep into relationships.

Habit #3: ASK, don’t assume

This one is all about learning to build great rapport, warmth and connection in relationships by consistently communicating appreciation and love in meaningful ways and overcoming the hurdle of feeling unvalued because of poor communication.

Habit #4: CONNECT, before you correct

<ul><li>Successful relationships are built upon a healthy emotional bank account.</li><li>You need to be aware of the behaviours that make deposits or withdrawals from the bank account. </li><li>When you have the balance right it creates a healthy foundation for good relationships.</li><li>If you have a challenging relationship focus on topping up the emotional bank account first.</li></ul>When the bank account is low you need to ask this fundamental question:‘Do I really care enough to put in the effort to maintain or improve this relationship?’

Manage the Emotional Bank Account

The status of your relationships can be viewed from two dimensions: <ul><li>Motivation: How motivated are you to maintain or improve this relationship?</li><li>Ability: How able are you to maintain or improve this relationship?</li></ul>

Successful Relationship Quadrant

Most healthy relationships go through cycles between Mutual Satisfaction and Frustration from time to time, which is all perfectly fine as long as you keep learning and improving your understanding of each other and don’t get stuck or set up camp in the Frustration zone.

Mutual Satisfaction and Frustration

In Desperation, the oxygen in the relationship is running out and typically people are ill-equipped to breathe life back in again, on their own. Desperation is toxic. Differences are misunderstood, needs are mostly unmet, and the likely experience is one of tension, frequent conflicts and an unending cycle of unmet expectations followed by disappointment, followed by negative reactions on either side, causing the relationship to spiral downwards.

Desperation

The Isolation quadrant is a place where no one wins. People ‘check out’ physically and/or mentally. They leave companies. They leave families. They leave friendships.

Isolation 

<ul><li>Commitment to ongoing efforts in building your understanding of each other.</li><li>Being more understanding in your responses.</li><li>Choosing to act and show appreciation in meaningful, specific ways.</li></ul>

The Heart of Successful Relationships

Successful relationships take work and wisdom. TEDx speakers, Jon and Andrea Taylor-Cummings share the four habits demonstrated by every successful relationship. By learning the principles and techniques that underpin these 4 habits, we can all change our behaviours from habits that damage relationships to habits that strengthen them, on purpose.

The quality of our relationships impacts just about everything that really matters most. They impact how we "show up" and what we are able to achieve - at home, at work and in life. They impact our health and wellbeing, and ultimately, they determine the quality of our very lives. But successful relationships don't just happen automatically. They take work. The problem is, often we have no idea what to work on! Every relationship faces hurdles. Our different views, opinions and approaches as individuals mean we have different expectations and when those expectations are not met, we feel frustrated and disappointed. Unaddressed and repeated over time, this frustration leads to broken relationships, broken homes and broken people. So many relationships lose out because we are not equipped to do relationships well before problems arise... until now. Based on over 25 years of working in relationship education, in this book, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings share four fundamental habits that often distinguish between successful and unsuccessful relationships. Every successful relationship displays them and every failing relationship is missing at least one. By learning the principles, tools and techniques that underpin The 4 Habits(c) we can all change our behaviours from habits that damage relationships to habits that strengthen them, on purpose. This means we can all learn to "show up" better, have better conversations and achieve better outcomes in ALL our relationships - with our partners, children, colleagues, friends, everyone! These four habits are so fundamental to all relationships that they continue to resonate around the world through their TEDx Talk, which now has in excess of 1.8 million views: - Habit #1 - BE CURIOUS, not critical is about developing our self-awareness (and other-awareness!) through understanding fundamental differences, giving each other "space and grace" to shine in our own strengths and overcome the frustration of unmet expectations. - Habit #2 - BE CAREFUL, not crushing is about building strong skills in managing conflict, learning to treat each other well no matter how heated the argument, and working towards genuine resolutions so that relationships are strengthened not damaged through conflict. - Habit #3 - ASK, don't assume is about learning to build mutual trust and respect in relationships by clarifying values and having courageous conversations about things that really matter to us when necessary, overcoming the hurdles of mistrust and distance that can creep into relationships. - Habit #4 - CONNECT, before you correct is about learning to build great rapport, warmth and connection in relationships by consistently communicating appreciation and love in meaningful ways, and to overcome the hurdle of feeling unvalued because of poor communication. Together The 4 Habits provide the practical "how to" for building Emotional Intelligence in general, and Relational Intelligence in particular. When we are each equipped with the skills to do relationships well, we turn up as better versions of ourselves. Our marriages and partnerships are strengthened, our children flourish, our organisations and communities thrive, and our nations grow in health. We can and we must all become intentional about learning to do relationships well, as if our lives depended on it. Because, in reality, they do.

Jonathan Taylor-Cummings

Andrea Taylor-Cummings

The 4 Habits of All Successful Relationships

Creativity is not an innate gift or a talent you're born with. Rather, creativity is a skill and a choice — it can be learned and expanded. 
The key to becoming more creative is to get into the habit of shipping or sharing your creative output all the time.

Creativity Can Be Learned

When you ship or share what you create — whether you get paid for it or not — you establish a "Practice" which will help your creative skills to grow and expand even more in the future. 
This kind of practice is self-driven, and is not outcome-based. The more you ship, the faster your creative skills will grow and expand, and the better your art will become, whatever form it may take.

Self-Driven Practice

The magic of the creative process is that there is no magic.

You were born ready to make art. Art is the generous act of making things better by doing something that might not work.
But you've been told that you can't trust yourself enough to do so. You've been told you don't have enough talent (but that's okay, because you can learn the skill instead). And you've been told that if you can't win, you shouldn't even try (but now you see the journey is the entire point).

It's Not About The Results

Creativity is a choice. If you aspire to find a new truth, solve an old problem, or make the world a better place, you can. To achieve this, establish a "Practice" of consistently generating, sharing, and shipping what you make.
The five key principles in doing this that are:
<ul>
<li>Trust yourself to make great art.</li>
<li>Be generous with your art.</li>
<li>Be professional.</li>
<li>Aspire to make change with your art.</li>
<li>Generate your art consistently.</li>
</ul>

The Conceptual Foundation

The key to building a creative practice for yourself is to be consistent in generating and shipping your art — whatever form it may take. Certainly, good processes help you generate professional-quality outputs, but consistency really is the key to moving forward. Generating art is something that you do, not merely something that you speak about.The second set of five key principles which underpin this idea are:<ul><li>Make bold assertions.</li><li>Earn your skills by consistently producing.</li><li>Welcome and harness your constraints.</li><li>Watch for creative ideas.</li><li>Be unquenchable.</li></ul>

Making It Happen

<ul><li>Establish a "Practice" to ship whatever you create to a schedule. The discipline of doing that will cause you to be even more creative in the future.</li><li>Write every day. Blog, and record your thoughts. It will establish your identity, and help you arrange your thoughts. That's the foundation for your creative output of the future.</li></ul>

Important Activities

The real breakthrough is doing work that is worth doing, even though you know it's not going to work.
The Western mindset is "tell me if it's going to work and then I'll do it." This mentality of only doing what's needed if it gets me an A on the test holds back creators.

Not The Straight A Grade Stuff

The colloquial understanding of magic is someone who does a coin trick. The coin disappears from one hand and is gone for just a moment. At that moment we feel the tension. How is that possible? 
Once we know how the trick is done the magic evaporates. This magic can be found in the things we create. Creators can make magic happen for the people they seek to help.

Creating Magic

The way we act determines how we feel way more often than the way we feel determines how we act. The way you behave will inform your identity. 
If your practice is to go running every day, the more this practice is done consistently you will have a runners identity. We are what we do.

The Practice Becomes Your Identity

From the bestselling author of Linchpin, Tribes, and The Dip comes an elegant little book that will inspire artists, writers, and entrepreneurs to stretch and commit to putting their best work out into the world. Creative work doesn't come with a guarantee. But there is a pattern to who succeeds and who doesn't. And engaging in the consistent practice of its pursuit is the best way forward. Based on the breakthrough Akimbo workshop pioneered by legendary author Seth Godin, The Practice will help you get unstuck and find the courage to make and share creative work. Godin insists that writer's block is a myth, that consistency is far more important than authenticity, and that experiencing the imposter syndrome is a sign that you're a well-adjusted human. Most of all, he shows you what it takes to turn your passion from a private distraction to a productive contribution, the one you've been seeking to share all along. With this book as your guide, you'll learn to dance with your fear. To take the risks worth taking. And to embrace the empathy required to make work that contributes with authenticity and joy.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

creativity

Creativity

From the bestselling author of Linchpin, Tribes, and The Dip comes an elegant little book that will inspire artists, writers, and entrepreneurs to stretch and commit to putting their best work out into the world. Creative work doesn't come with a guarantee. But there is a pattern to who succeeds and who doesn't. And engaging in the consistent practice of its pursuit is the best way forward. Based on the breakthrough Akimbo workshop pioneered by legendary author Seth Godin, The Practice will help you get unstuck and find the courage to make and share creative work. Godin insists that writer's block is a myth, that consistency is far more important than authenticity, and that experiencing the imposter syndrome is a sign that you're a well-adjusted human. Most of all, he shows you what it takes to turn your passion from a private distraction to a productive contribution, the one you've been seeking to share all along. With this book as your guide, you'll learn to dance with your fear. To take the risks worth taking. And to embrace the empathy required to make work that contributes with authenticity and joy.

Seth Godin is a bestselling author, entrepreneur and agent of change.Godin is author of ten books that have been bestsellers around the world, and he is also a renowned speaker. He was recently chosen as one of 21 Speakers for the Next Century by Successful Meetings and is consistently rated among the very best speakers by the audiences he addresses.Seth was founder and CEO of Yoyodyne, the industry's leading interactive direct marketing company, which Yahoo! acquired in late 1998.He holds an MBA from Stanford, and was called "the Ultimate Entrepreneur for the Information Age" by Business Week.

Seth Godin

The Practice

<ol><li>Focus on one realistic goal at a time</li><li>If you miss out on a day, get back on track as soon as possible</li><li>Keep going and Never Give Up, even if you don't feel like</li><li>Don't self-doubt until you achieve your goal</li><li>Track your improvements</li></ol>Consistency beats Hard work beats Talent

How to be Consistent

Water is a lot weaker than stone, but consistently flowing over, it can cut the stone. This is the power of consistency. These tips will help you become consistent in whatever you and improve.

My friend laughs at me whenever we walk into a restaurant because the waiter will walk over, smile, and ask, “Same same?” My productivity is predicated on consistency. If I break out of my routine…

productivity

Productivity

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

timemanagement

Time Management

How to Be Outrageously Consistent | 7 Tips to Be Consistently Consistent

“The need to impress others causes half the world’s woes.”

1. Laugh Often. Be that person that routinely laughs at other’s jokes and stories. It concretely communicates that you enjoy life and their company. They’ll be impressed and you’ll be a more joyful person.2. Be Optimistic. Always, always, always focus on the good aspects of people and situations. Sometimes you have to look harder than others, but you’ll always be glad you did.3. Be Faithful. to Your Spouse. Marital fidelity is going out of style too quickly these days. Stay faithful to the one you chose. Trust me, your friends and colleagues will be impressed… not to mention your partner.

Consider list of 12 Intangible, Surefire Ways to Impress Others

4. Develop Your Strengths. I am impressed by good singers, authors, writers, architects, speakers, CEO’s, computer programmers, mothers, and athletes (just to name a few). There is only one thing they all have in common: They discovered their strengths and developed them with great discipline. Do the same with your unique giftedness and temperament. And regardless of the profession you choose, you will impress.5. Travel. See the world. You will change and be better because of it.6. Appreciate Others Opinions. Appreciating others opinion will also impress others in a different way.

Make Yourself Strong

7. Love Your Life. Don’t fall into the <a href="https://www.becomingminimalist.com/on-living-countercultural-lives/">trap of living life like everyone else </a>. Avoid television and consumerism. Embrace your passions and find enjoyment in your life. The people around you will be impressed… and jealous.8. Encourage More. Living your life in competition with those around you will never impress. After all, everyone else is already doing that. Change the world by being different. Seek to encourage and lift up others. And the person who benefits the most just may be you.9. Love Nature. People who exhibit care for the physical world around us exhibit care for all humanity.

Live The Life Don't Waste It On Others

10. Listen Intently. Eyes focused. Ears tuned. Cell phone off. In a world that can’t move fast enough, someone who can find time to listen is as rare as a precious jewel… and far more valuable.11. Be Content. A contented life is enjoyable , desirable, and admirable. Those who don’t have it, desire it. And are impressed with those who have.12. Don’t Live to Impress. Live to Inspire. Give up your desire to impress everyone you meet. But never give up your desire to inspire everyone you meet.

Don't Make Yourself Available For Everyone

Living your life to impress others will make you disappoint everytime. Just be yourself and inspire other by your thinking, creativity, power and knowledge

The hard fact is we often look to impress others in all the wrong places. Consider this list of 15 surefire ways to impress others in all the right ways.

12 Surefire Ways to Impress Others

1. Identify the behavior you want to change and whether it is an A, B, or C behavior.<ul><li>A = Automatic</li><li>B = Burning</li><li>C = Common</li></ul>2. Use as many of the seven SCIENCE forces as apply to make lasting changes to your behavior.

The 2-step Model For Lasting Change

The SCIENCE forces are like physical forces that constantly push and pull us. The more forces we can implement, the more likely we are to create lasting change. S is for stepladdersC is for communityI is for importantE is for easyN is for neurohacksC is for captivatingE is for engrainedNot only do we need to understand these forces but we also need to be aware of when to use them.

What Are The SCIENCE Forces?

Automatic behaviors are best changed by making things Easy and Engrained along with using Neurohacks and Captivating rewards.Burning behaviors are similar to automatic ones but we can also use Stepladders, Community, and Immediacy.Common behaviors are best changed with the help of Communities in conjunction with the other forces while Neurohacks are the least effective.In general, the more conscious we are of our behaviors, the easier they are to change.

ABCs And What To Do About Them

Sometimes we fail at achieving our goals because they are out of our control or unrealistic. Set steps to get to goals, to get to dreams.Is it a Dream or a Goal?Dreams typically take more than three months and you haven't previously accomplished it before.Goals typically take one to three months and are easier to quantify. *Goals can take longer but only if you have experience.Make your steps tiny and build on small victories. You should be able to accomplish at least one step each week.

STEPLADDERS - Dreams, Goals, & Steps

Social support and healthy competition are powerful. Find a community of people doing what you want to do or begin your own. The best communities have a "social magnet" that drive them and draw the members closer. Without this, communities often fail.The 6 ingredients for a successful community are:<ol><li>The need to Trust - share experiences</li><li>The need to Fit In - clear social norms</li><li>The need for Self Worth - feeling good about ourselves</li><li>The need for a Social Magnet - an active, nurturing group</li><li>The need to be Rewarded</li><li>The need to feel Empowered - in control of ourselves</li></ol>

COMMUNITY & The 6 Ingredients

If you are motivated you will build lasting changes but if your pleasure is more important than your goal, you won't.Use The Big Three to make steps and goals more important than your pleasure.<ol><li>Money</li><li>Social connections</li><li>Health</li></ol>Ask yourself if it is important to change your behavior for better health, relationships, or more money and use the answer to leverage the other forces to continue to make positive changes in your life.

IMPORTANT & The Big Three

We all enjoy doing things that are easy to do. Sometimes this is a problem and other times it's a boon.Don't underestimate small changes in the environment that can lead to big changes in behavior. Want to eat healthier? Remove unhealthy food from your home.We can also avoid "choice paralysis" by limiting our available choices and avoid indecisiveness by creating a road map with a realistic action plan to make change a no brainer.

EASY Does It

Change begins with action. Change your behavior and the mind will follow, including our feelings.<ul><li>Body movements such as posture and simply nodding our head when listening to something can influence how we think and feel.</li><li>Taking note of physiology and trying to make it positive when beginning a change can have lasting effects.</li><li>Keep in mind that our emotions and physiology are interconnected. If we couldn't frown, we would generally feel happier.</li><li>Try changing speech to link our identity to have greater weight. Try telling yourself, "Don't be a cheater" instead of, "Don't cheat".</li></ul>

NEUROHACKS

Pin point what is important and create rewards to help motivate yourself.Use the "The Big Three" from Important but also think of these 5 ideas:<ul><li>Make it fun!</li><li>Avoid fear and punishments.</li><li>Don't reward things you already enjoy because it may backfire.</li><li>Appeal to psychology and emotions, NOT logic alone.</li><li>Make the activity itself rewarding</li></ul>Quick fixes and Trick fixesQuick fixes use Stepladders and Easy to provide fast, positive reinforcement to help maintain motivation.Trick fixes use intermittent rewards to wean ourselves off of rewards once we get comfortable with our new habit.

CAPTIVATING Rewards & Two Fixes

We are creatures of habit and just as Easy helps us change, repetition helps engrain behaviors. But be careful because this works for good and bad habits. <ul><li>Repeating a behavior at the same time and place every day is a powerful technique the military employs to train soldiers. </li><li>Try creating an alarm to help begin your new routine.</li></ul>Magnetic behaviors are linked behaviors that make it easier to do a hard task. Linking putting on running shoes (easy) with going for a run (hard) is one example.

ENGRAINED Habits & Magnetic Behavior

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.

Strategies to make lasting changes in our lives and improve ourselves.

#1 Wall Street Journal Bestseller An award-winning psychologist and director of the UCLA Center for Digital Behavior shows everyone how to make real, lasting change in their lives in this exciting work of popular psychology that goes beyond The Power of Habit with science and practical strategies that can alter their problem behaviors—forever. Whether it’s absent-minded mistakes at work, a weakness for junk food, a smart phone addiction, or a lack of exercise, everyone has some bad habit or behavior that they’d like to change. But wanting to change and actually doing it—and sticking with it—are two very different things. Dr. Sean Young, an authoritative new voice in the field of behavioral science, knows a great deal about our habits—how we make them and how we can break them. Stick with It is his fascinating look at the science of behavior, filled with crucial knowledge and practical advice to help everyone successfully alter their actions and improve their lives. As Dr. Young explains, you don’t change behavior by changing the person, you do it by changing the process. Drawing on his own scientific research and that of other leading experts in the field, he explains why change can be difficult and identifies the crucial forces that combine to make transformation permanent, from the right way to create new habits to how to harness emotional meaning to motivate change. He also helps us understand how the mind often interferes with creating lasting change and how we can outsmart it, including using "neurohacks" to shortcut the brain’s counterproductive instincts. In addition he provides a powerful corrective to the decades old science of habits, offering a next generation discussion of how habits can change behavior with the right approach. Packed with pragmatic exercises and stories of real people who have used them successfully, Stick with It shows that it is possible to control spending, stick to a diet, become more social, exercise regularly, stop compulsively checking e-mail, and overcome problem behaviors—forever.

#1 Wall Street Journal BestsellerAn award-winning psychologist and director of the UCLA Center for Digital Behavior shows everyone how to make real, lasting change in their lives in this exciting work of popular psychology that goes beyond The Power of Habit with science and practical strategies that can alter their problem behaviors—forever.Whether it’s absent-minded mistakes at work, a weakness for junk food, a smart phone addiction, or a lack of exercise, everyone has some bad habit or behavior that they’d like to change. But wanting to change and actually doing it—and sticking with it—are two very different things.Dr. Sean Young, an authoritative new voice in the field of behavioral science, knows a great deal about our habits—how we make them and how we can break them. Stick with It is his fascinating look at the science of behavior, filled with crucial knowledge and practical advice to help everyone successfully alter their actions and improve their lives.As Dr. Young explains, you don’t change behavior by changing the person, you do it by changing the process. Drawing on his own scientific research and that of other leading experts in the field, he explains why change can be difficult and identifies the crucial forces that combine to make transformation permanent, from the right way to create new habits to how to harness emotional meaning to motivate change. He also helps us understand how the mind often interferes with creating lasting change and how we can outsmart it, including using "neurohacks" to shortcut the brain’s counterproductive instincts. In addition he provides a powerful corrective to the decades old science of habits, offering a next generation discussion of how habits can change behavior with the right approach.Packed with pragmatic exercises and stories of real people who have used them successfully, Stick with It shows that it is possible to control spending, stick to a diet, become more social, exercise regularly, stop compulsively checking e-mail, and overcome problem behaviors—forever.

Sean D. Young

Stick with It

Break what you want to learn into smaller, manageable pieces. Let’s say you want to bake your own bread. It’s a multi-step process that includes making dough, letting it rise, punching it down, shaping it into a loaf, and baking it in the oven. You’ll start by identifying the different tools and skills behind each step.Or, if you choose yoga as your new hobby, begin at home with a video that shows you the basic poses and breathing techniques — and then go try a class.

1. Break down a skill into its components.

Get three to five resources about what it is you’re trying to learn. It could be books, it could be DVDs, it could be anything, but don’t use those as a way to procrastinate. After all, you won’t learn how to bake bread or do yoga unless you break out the flour or yoga mat and do something.Set a limit on the number of resources you’re consulting — there’s no need to buy every book or watch every YouTube video on the subject; there’s time to do that later — and jump in.

2. Learn enough to know when you’re making a mistake.

This may require stowing away your electronic devices while you tackle your hobby. Or get creative and combine your favorite distraction with your new activity. In a <a href="https://www.tedxpenn.com/">TEDxPenn </a> talk, behavioral scientist <a href="http://www.katherinemilkman.com/">Katherine Milkman </a> advocates a technique called<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=zaf3yQ4OLdw"> “temptation bundling” </a>: pairing something you know you love to do with something you’re trying to get yourself to do. Turn on your favorite podcast while you bake, or you could turn your weekly coffee with a friend into a weekly at-home yoga session with the two of you.

3. Remove any and all barriers to practice.

To overcome the “frustration barrier” — that period in the beginning when you’re painfully incompetent and you know it — you must commit to sticking with your new activity for at least 20 hours. By that point, you will be astounded at how good you are.

4. Practice for at least 20 hours.

Writer Josh Kaufman, author of The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything…Fast and The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business, has figured out why so many of us get stopped in our tracks during this early learning period. He has a solution to tackle the problem.

education

Learning & Education

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Don’t have 10,000 hours to learn something new? That’s fine — all you need is 20.

Being emotional is good but being an emotional fool is not. Some of us breakdown way too early and to operate in today’s tough world, there are a few things in life that need to be brought on track and worked upon. To become emotionally strong, here are 5 tips that you must work on.

Be strong! Here's how

All of us have different ways of dealing with negativity which includes crying, anger, anxiety. However, these are short term remedies and then they lead to long term regrets. Work on long term strategies, divert your feelings into something healthier. Make new goals which have a positive base.

Make New Goals

Weekly working out is very important. It not only reduces stress, it also boosts self esteem, it works on your anxiety levels. Many people feel depressed but when they workout which includes dancing, walking, running and gyming, they start feeling better and it wards off the feelings of depression.

Exercise

Make new commitments and drop the old habits that you feel may have been pulling you down. Make new relationships. Change your strategies, develop new methods of doing things.

Drop Old Habits

To feel mentally stronger you have to be happy and for that you have to work on it. Take back that power og happiness and do not compromise just to please others. Don’t leave your dreams behind for someone else’ disappointment. Focus on yourself and strengthen yourself to make the decisions for yourself.

Lay Stress On Your Happiness

If you do not take risks in life you can never move forward. You have to develop that courage in you and challenge yourself. Be it a new job, moving away from a toxic relationship or taking any other risk which will improve your life’s resume.

Take Risks In Life

Being emotional is good but being an emotional fool is not. Some of us breakdown way too early and to operate in today’s tough world, there are a few things in life that need to be brought on track and worked upon. To become emotionally strong, here are 5 tips that you must work on.

health

Health

mentalhealth

Mental Health

5 tips to become emotionally strong in today's world

Accepting our mortality helps us let go of busyness and focus on what’s most important to us in order to live a happier, more meaningful life.
The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly finite. If you’re lucky and you live to 80, you will have lived about 4,000 weeks. This truth, which most of us ignore most of the time, is something to wrestle with if we want to spend our limited time on this earth well.

Limited Time On This Planet

Time management, broadly defined, should be everyone’s chief concern. Yet the modern discipline of time management (or productivity) is depressingly narrow-minded, focused on devising the perfect morning routine or trying to crank through as many tasks as possible, while investing all your energy on reaching some later state of well-being and accomplishment.
It ignores the fact that the world is bursting with wonder — and that experiencing more of that wonder may come at the cost of productivity.

The Value Of Time

The average human lifespan is absurdly, terrifyingly finite. If you’re lucky and you live to 80, you will have lived about 4,000 weeks. Here's some advice to help you learn how to use that time well, from writer Oliver Burkeman.

10 ways to get the most out of your time on this planet

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It's time to
Read like a Pro.

Every Conversation Counts

The 4 Habits of All Successful Relationships

The Practice

How to Be Outrageously Consistent | 7 Tips to Be Consistently Consistent

12 Surefire Ways to Impress Others

Stick with It

Don’t have 10,000 hours to learn something new? That’s fine — all you need is 20.

5 tips to become emotionally strong in today's world

10 ways to get the most out of your time on this planet

10 Daily Morning Habits That Will Set You Up for Success - Lolly Daskal | Leadership

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.