In prolonged times of stress, have you ever experienced thoughts telling yourself that your are...not happy enough?...not successful enough?...not rich enough?...not worth enough?...not pretty enough?...not lovable enough?...just not enough in anything?Even though you have family, friends, a home, work, are physically healthy and have no reason to be rationally unhappy?

Self-Sabotage

So where do these self-destructing thoughts come from, when overall you try to live a decent life?Have you ever experienced really bad things in your past (e.g. destructive criticism, disappointment, relationship, childhood), where deep inside you the seed of not being enough could have been sowed?In these particular moments, did you just swallow the seed or did you try to get it out?

The Origin

In case you have not used self-reflecting methods to practise self-love, there's a high chance that the swallowed seed found the right soil to grow into a limiting conviction likeI don't deserve to be happy / loved / succesful / ...

The seed of a limiting conviction

Your perception is limited. Some convictions are obvious, while others are hidden in the maze of your subconscious.Some come up everyday and others just in stressful situations.The obvious and the hidden, the self-loving and self-sabotaging convictions, all have in common to have an deeming impact on your life-perception, thus wellbeing.

The maze of limiting convictions

Limits are subjective. Your limits are the horizon of your imagination. Imagination is depending on the interaction of perception and experiences (current life-knowledge).So in order to challenge your own limiting convictions which reveal themselves in destructive thoughts, you could shift and expand your perception with new perspectives.

Where there's a Limit, there's a Challenge

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Fold an empty piece of paper.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">On the left side - list your limiting thoughts briefly, beginning with the most destrucive one. Leave enough space between each thought, no details and no more than there's space.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">On the (b)right side - pretend to be someone you really trust. List parallelly how these chosen person perceives you and argue reasonably from her/his perspective, why your limiting thoughts are inadequate.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Tear the paper into its two halfes. Keep the right and the left you crush into a paper ball, burn it safely or fold a paperplane and let it fly from your favourite lookout.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Let it go.</li></ol>

A Letter for Self-Love

The left side - is sent back to its origin, your past.The right side just arrived its destination, your consciousness.

The Love is sent on its way

You can't rip out a limiting conviction in the garden of your mind without planting a better one. The chance of limiting regrowth is too high. So how to take care of that hole?Right before bed-time<ol><li>Write down one thing - why you are grateful to be yourself. How would it feel, if that one thing was missing in your life? Focus on the feeling, when you overcome the challenge of getting this one thing back.</li><li>Write down - what the happiest thing was, you experienced today. How did you feel in that moment, when it happened? Remember what you saw, heard, smelled, touched and tasted?</li></ol>

Plant Gratitude & water it everyday

The more destructive your past experiences have been, the bigger the seed of self-sabotage has grown, because it was fed with every information aligning its origin/cause (confirmation bias).Currently there're no broadly available quick-fixes for self-sabotage. So be compassionate with yourself (like with someone you love), if your mind has set-back-thoughts. These thoughts occure progressively less over the time of your self-compassionate practice.

Growth takes Time

My partner and me have experienced a lot of hardships in the past. In stressful situations our minds can bring up self-sabotaging thoughts originating subconsciously from bad experiences. To change that, I tried to create an exercise debunking these thoughts rationally with arguments from another perspective and emotionally by the bond of trust with that loved person. I wanted that anyone is able to do it independently on their own.The goal is to become more self-compassionate to increase self-worth and self-love, because - We all deserve Wellbeing.

Background

#self-perception #growth #change #convictions #habits

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

mentalhealth

Mental Health

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

The quote "You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength" is a powerful reminder that we have control over our thoughts and perceptions, which in turn can influence our actions and well-being. Here are some exercises you can incorporate into your daily life to embody this quote:

Introduction 

Engage in mindfulness exercises such as meditation or deep breathing to become aware of your thoughts and emotions. By observing them without judgment, you can start to detach from external events and gain a sense of control over your own mind.

Practice mindfulness

Whenever you encounter a challenging situation or negative thought, consciously choose to reframe it in a more positive or empowering light. Focus on the aspects that are within your control and find constructive ways to address them.

Reframe negative thoughts

Cultivate a habit of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the things you appreciate in your life. This exercise helps shift your focus to the positive aspects and encourages you to acknowledge the power you have in shaping your perspective.

Embrace gratitude

Identify your personal and professional goals, break them down into actionable steps, and work towards them consistently. By focusing on your own aspirations and taking steps to achieve them, you regain control over your life and reduce reliance on external events.

Set goals and take action

Prioritize self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and engaging in hobbies or activities you enjoy can strengthen your mind and help you better navigate external circumstances.

Practice self-care

Instead of dwelling on setbacks or failures, view them as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Analyze what went wrong, identify lessons learned, and use that knowledge to adjust your mindset and approach going forward.

Learn from setbacks

Remember, practicing these exercises consistently is key to internalizing the quote and finding strength in your ability to control your own mind. Over time, you'll develop resilience and a greater sense of personal empowerment.By creating checklists of the above 6 points and regularly practicing them, you would walk one step forward in the path of self improvement!

And Finally...

Some practical tips that you can execute in your lives to better yourselves.

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

education

Learning & Education

meditation

Meditation

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

6 Tips to Improve Your Life

A mental model is a general idea that can be used to explain many different phenomena. Supply and demand in economics, natural selection in biology, recursion in computer science, or proof by induction in mathematics — these models are everywhere once you know to look for them.

10 Mental Models For Learning Anything

Unfortunately, learning is rarely taught as a class on its own — meaning most of these mental models are known only to specialists. In this essay, I’d like to share the ten that have influenced me the most, along with references to dig deeper in case you’d like to know more.

Herbert Simon and Allen Newell launched the study of problem solving with their landmark book, Human Problem Solving. In it, they argued that people solve problems by searching through a problem space.A problem space is like a maze: you know where you are now, you’d know if you’ve reached the exit, but you don’t know how to get there. One implication of this model is that, without prior knowledge, most problems are really difficult to solve. Learning is the process of acquiring patterns and methods to cut down on brute-force searching.

1. Problem solving is search.

Retrieving knowledge strengthens memory more than seeing something for a second time does. Testing knowledge isn’t just a way of measuring what you know — it actively improves your memory. In fact, testing is one of the best study techniques researchers have discovered. Retrieval only works if there is something to retrieve. This is why we need books, teachers and classes. When memory fails, we fall back on problem-solving search which, depending on the size of the problem space, may fail utterly to give us a correct answer.

2. Memory strengthens by retrieval.

How much you’re able to learn depends on what you already know. Research finds that the amount of knowledge retained from a text depends on prior knowledge of the topic. This effect can even outweigh general intelligence in some situations. This process has limits, of course, or knowledge would accelerate indefinitely. Still, it’s good to keep in mind because the early phases of learning are often the hardest and can give a misleading impression of future difficulty within a field.

3. Knowledge grows exponentially.

Few subjects are so misunderstood as creativity. We tend to imbue creative individuals with a near-magical aura, but creativity is much more mundane in practice. Even in fine art, the importance of copying has been neglected. Yes, many revolutions in art were explicit rejections of past trends. But the revolutionaries themselves were, almost without exception, steeped in the tradition they rebelled against. Rebelling against any convention requires awareness of that convention.

4. Creativity is mostly copying.

Transfer refers to enhanced abilities in one task after practice or training in a different task. In research on transfer, a typical pattern shows up: Practice at a task makes you better at it.Practice at a task helps with similar tasks (usually ones that overlap in procedures or knowledge).Practice at one task helps little with unrelated tasks, even if they seem to require the same broad abilities like “memory,” “critical thinking” or “intelligence.”

5. Skills are specific.

Since the 1980s, cognitive load theory has been used to explain how interventions optimize (or limit) learning based on our limited mental bandwidth. This research finds: Problem solving may be counterproductive for beginners. Novices do better when shown worked examples (solutions) instead.Materials should be designed to avoid needing to flip between pages or parts of a diagram to understand the material.Redundant information impedes learning.Complex ideas can be learned more easily when presented first in parts.

6. Mental bandwidth is extremely limited.

A good rule is to aim for a roughly 85% success rate when learning. You can do this by calibrating the difficulty of your practice (open vs. closed book, with vs. without a tutor, simple vs. complex problems) or by seeking extra training and assistance when falling below this threshold. If you succeed above this threshold, you’re probably not seeking hard enough problems — and are practicing routines instead of learning new skills.

7. Success is the best teacher.

How people can think logically is an age-old puzzle. Since Kant, we’ve known that logic can’t be acquired from experience. Somehow, we must already know the rules of logic, or an illogical mind could never have invented them. In 1983, Philip Johnson-Laird proposed a solution: we reason by constructing a mental model of the situation.To test a syllogism like “All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore, Socrates is mortal,” we imagine a collection of men, all of whom are mortal, and imagine that Socrates is one of them. We deduce the syllogism is true through this examination.

8. We reason through examples.

Skills become increasingly automated through practice. This reduces our conscious awareness of the skill, making it require less of our precious working memory capacity to perform. Think of driving a car: at first, using the blinkers and the brakes was painfully deliberate. After years of driving, you barely think about it.

9. Knowledge becomes invisible with experience.

Forgetting is the unavoidable fate of any skill we don’t use regularly. Hermann Ebbinghaus found that knowledge tapers off at an exponential rate — most quickly at the beginning, slowing down as time elapses.Relearning is a nuisance, especially since struggling with previously easy problems can be discouraging. Yet it’s no reason not to learn deeply and broadly — even forgotten knowledge can be revived much faster than starting from scratch.

10. Relearning is relatively fast.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

cybersecurity

Cybersecurity

"A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering". – Dalai LamaSelf Discipline is the ability to control and motivate oneself to stay focused on goals and tasks, even during challenges and difficult times.Through Self discipline as well as building a system we can achieve anything in life.

Self Discipline 

There is a saying "problem understood is the problem half solved". My point is take a complete audit of your life. Identify problems, obstacles etc. on your life journey that pulling you down.Focus on the identity you are building. Don't just think about the goals you want to achieve as well as think about the person you want to become. Keeping your desired identity mind helps you take actions alligned with that identity.Daily journaling is the best method to know yourself better.

Take A Life Audit

In this fast moving world everyone is busy or pretending to be busy. It is easy to forget what we are supposed to be doing. So make sure to set reminders on your phone, calander or todo list app to help you stay on track.

Set A Reminder 

The hardest battles often come from within. Nothing meaning is achieved without struggle. Instead of thinking about how hard things are think about the incremental progress you are making over time.“Our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Embrace Challenges 

"Health is wealth" It's hard to make good decisions when don't feel good mentally, physically and spiritually. Take better care of yourself in terms of mental health by reading & meditating and physical health by exercising and spiritual health by practicing gratitude.

Take Care Of Your Health 

Dedicate 10 minutes each day to sit in silence and observe your thoughts don't judge. Let the thought come and go; and become aware of how you are feeling.

Practice Meditation 

Building a simple new habit is a great way to build your self-descipline muscle. Starting small, getting accountability, tracking your progress, and celebrating your wins are a few habit building tips for all.For more knowledge on habits related read Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Build New Habits 

Self Discipline is so vital in terms of achieving anything without that we lost in a sea.

6 Powerful Ways To Master Self-Discipline

productivity

Productivity

health

Health

The ultimate goal in life is to be happy.Some people find happiness in external sources such as their job, finances, social status.What happens if any of those sources were to disappear? What if you lose your job, your wealth, your social group...Will your happiness disappear with it?"The fundamental delusion: There is something out there that will make me happy and fulfilled forever." - The Almanack of Naval Ravikant

The Key to Happiness

The Buddha taught that because no physical or mental object is permanent, desires for or attachments to either causes suffering.All things of this world come to an end. There is an impermanence in all things including you, and me.So connecting our source of happiness to things on the outside will only last as long as it lasts.If happiness is not on the outside, where is it?

External Sourced Happiness

" Peace occurs when you don't turn your observations into problems. If you do not desire to act on what you observe then you are at peace."

Finding Peace

"Happiness is simply the absence of desire. Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure, but the lack of desire. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer desire to change your state." - Atomic Habits, James Clear. " Desire is a contract you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want." - The Almanack of Naval Ravikant

The Absence of Desire

" Pain or suffering arises through desire or craving and that to be free of pain, we need to cut the bonds with desire."

Craving is about wanting to fix everything. Observation without craving is the realization you do not need to fix anything.Your desires are not running rampant.You do not crave a change in state. Your mind does not generate a problem for you. You are simply observing and existing. - Atomic Habits, James Clear.

Cravings

" All cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in the external things and in the future as a substitute for the joy of Being. " - The Power of Now, Eckhart TolleSo, don't seek to be free of desire or seek to achieve enlightenment because that is just another form of fulfillment.

Cravings = External Sourced Happiness

" Become Present. Be there as the observer of the mind. "

What does it mean to present? In the Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, the author states to be present is to be aware of who you are.He explains to be aware of who you are, lets make a list of what you're not...<ul><li>You're not simply your age, weight or height because that changes.</li><li>You're not simply you name because that's just a collection of letters. If your name changed it would not change who you are. </li><li>You're not just a summary of your life story, your job title, your relationships(being a wife, being a parent) because if all these things ceased to exist you would still be you.</li></ul>

Becoming Present

Michael A Singer continues with if you're not a collection of these external/outside things... let's look internally. <ul><li>Am I my emotions? Your emotions come and go, there is times when you feel no emotion at all, but you still exist. You notice the different emotions that pass before you.</li><li>Am I my thoughts? The verb " to think" is defined as " to form thoughts, to use the mind to consider ideas and make judgments. Who is using the mind to create thoughts? Who struggles with their thoughts? </li></ul>

Who am I?

A subject-to-object relationship exists in the outer world experiences, you can see that things are separate from you. You can't be something you're aware of. Same goes for your thoughts and emotions, you are aware when you're happy or sad. You're aware when your mind won't stop racing. When your mind is calm, you are still the one noticing these things occur. So seriously..Who are you?

Subject to Object Relationship

"Consciousness is the highest word you will ever utter. There is nothing higher or deeper than consciousness. Consciousness is full awareness. "

We know who we are not, but what is left once we've cleared the dust? Michael A. Singer explains, if all outside objects disappear you will still exist, if your thoughts and emotions ceased to exist you would still be here." When you look without creating thoughts, your consciousness is effortlessly aware of, and fully comprehend all it sees. " But, what would happen if our awareness did not exist?- Well we would not exist. There would be no sense of self. There would be no awareness of being. No matter how many things are in front of you without consciousness there is nothing there.

Settle the Dust

"If you are conscious, there can be nothing in front of you but you are fully aware there is nothing. "So back to the question. "Who am I?" " ' I am the one who sees. From the back in here somewhere, I look out, and I am aware of the events, thoughts, and emotions that pass before me. ' " - The Untethered Soul" A true spiritual being lives there without effort and without intent."From the very start of your life you've been the conscious receiver of all that was. As you pull back into consciousness, this world ceases to be a problem. It keeps changing but it's just something you are watching.

Consciousness

Do you want to be happy or not? The choice now is in your hands.Things out of your control WILL happen. No matter how much you think about it or suffer behind the fear of something happening. The true question is " Will I be happy regardless of what happens?" <ul><li>You no longer desire to change the world, but you let the world flow and you experience all the journey of life has to offer.</li><li>You let go of identifying with outside experiences and inner emotions. </li><li>You simply are aware you exist and your sense of being is not valued in external sources.</li><li>Understand you were not put on this Earth to suffer.</li></ul>

The Path to Unconditional Happiness

" In the end, enjoying life's experiences is the only rational thing to do. You're floating in empty space in a universe that goes on forever. If you have to be here, at least be happy and enjoy the experiences. " - Michael A. SingerHe explains,When your heart is closed, you aren't happy, you feel no energy inside compared to when you're happy, your heart feels open and the rush of happiness overwhelms you. "Choose to not close your heart, no matter the circumstances. You can chose to go with it, or let go." "Relax your heart when it begins to tighten.""Have fun with all that life unfolds."

Commit to Happiness

" Maybe happiness is not something you inherit or even choose, but a highly personal skill that can be learned like fitness or nutrition. "

In the Almanack of Naval Ravikant, the author cities Naval loosely, But the idea Naval believes is...<ul><li>"These kind of questions have answers, but they are personal ones." </li><li>"Today, I believe happiness is a default state. It is when you remove the sense of something missing in your life. "</li><li>" Nothing is missing, your mind shuts down and stops running into the past or the future to regret something or to plan something. "</li><li>" Nature has no concept of happiness or unhappiness. Everything is perfect exactly the way it is."</li><li>"Happiness is embracing the present moment and reality of what is, and the way it is.</li></ul>

What is Happiness to you?

<ul><li>" One can be very happy if not caught up in their own head."</li><li>" Every second you have on this planet is very precious, and it's your responsibility to make sure you're happy and interpreting everything in the best way possible."</li><li>"A rational person can find peace by cultivating indifference to things outside of their control." </li></ul>

continued...

So Naval Ravikant believes, " You can very slowly but steadily and methodically improve your happiness baseline, just like you improve your fitness."Examples he used:<ul><li>I have lowered my identity </li><li>I have lowered the chattering of my mind</li><li>I don't care about things that don't really matter</li><li>I don't get involved in politics </li><li>I don't hang around unhappy people</li><li>I really value my time here on Earth</li><li>I read philosophy</li><li>I meditate</li></ul>Michael A Singer from the Untethered Soul says " Work with it. Use affirmations, or do whatever you need to do to stay open." " Just question if you're willing to give up your happiness."

Learning the Skill of Happiness

" The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment. You create a good future by creating a good present. "

Living in the Now

" The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step you are taking at this moment. That's all there ever is. " - Eckhart TolleLiving in the past creates depression and guilt for what already happened. Something that no longer exist in present time effects you in the present. Stop living in the past.Living in the future creates anxiety about what if's, the future is ultimately out of your control. So, stop living in fear of something that has never happened.

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present.""Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence.""Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all formsof nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”" As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. " - Eckhart Tolle, the Power of Now

"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy."

" A happy person isn't someone who's happy all the time. Its someone who effortlessly interprets events in such a way that they don't lose their innate peace" - The Almanack of Naval Ravikant “Die to the past every moment. You don't need it. Only refer to it when it is absolutely relevant to the present. Feel the power of this moment and the fullness of Being. Feel your presence." -The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

Being Happy

“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind - you are the one who hears it.” “Eventually you will see that the real cause of problem is not life itself. It's the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems.” “To attain true inner freedom, you must be able to objectively watch your problems instead of being lost in them..."“Everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be okay.”<ul><li>The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer</li></ul>

Inner Freedom

After reading many philosophy and spiritual guidance books, I've put together the idea I've formed on the key of happiness through sourced materials.

philosophy

Philosophy

books

Books

The Key to Happiness 

Being easy, agreeable, and in a constant state of people pleasing felt normal to me.  I could be a nice person and feel like I was selfless. Being nice was a convenient way for me to continue living my "good guy" conditioning.  Of course, I was consistently feeling drained and like my relationships weren't fulfilling.

Why I stopped being nice, so that I could be kind:   Being easy,

Resentment crept in. As I started healing I realized: I wasn't actually being nice. I wasn't being nice to myself. Like most chronic people pleasers, I had no boundaries. This fed a part of me that wanted to feel: needed, important, and like people depended on me. As I slowly started healing myself, I knew I had to break this pattern.

I had to stop being nice so I could be kind. This would mean: I had to set boundaries, I had to say "No," and I had to start actually putting my needs first.

1. It's ok to disappoint people: we naturally disappoint people, and people will disappoint us. This is part of life. 2. Boundaries create generosity: when we have clear limits and prioritize our own needs, we can actually meet the needs of others. The more fulfilled our own needs are, the more we can fulfill the needs of others.

Some of the lessons

3. I don't need to over-explain: I remember the first time I declined doing something without a long winded excuse. It felt so vulnerable and off to me. Why? I believed there had to be a reason for me to not do something. This is how codependency shows up. 4. Healthy people respect your limits: healthy people understand boundaries and don't pressure, guilt, or shame you for not doing something.

5. Doing things because you want to feels good: doing something from a pure space (rather than wanting to get approval or validation from someone) is a very beautiful feeling. It's ok to feel good. 6. Our society glorifies self sacrifice and self betrayal: how often do we hear "He put everyone else before herself" as if this is a noble act. What we don't see is how this can lead to depression, addiction, etc.

I'm still healing from these patterns and I still feel guilty at times, but one thing I no longer have is resentment within my relationships.  And that has changed my life.  REMEMBER: Be kind, not nice!

I can’t tell you how much this summarises my entire life and way of thinking … finally started to be aware that this is not good for myself and starting to change … hard every day

Why I stopped being nice, so that I could be kind

"30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself" — the positive daily guide that will keep you on track.

<ul><li>“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in your journey.” </li><li>“Don’t be scared to walk alone down the path less traveled, and don’t be scared to love every minute of it.” </li> </ul>So I wrote those two quotes down again, just as I remembered them, and posted them up on the wall over my nightstand. I woke up to these quotes every morning for several years thereafter—they helped keep me centered. I also took tiny steps, day in and day out, until I knew I was finally moving down the right path again.

And so for the longest time, behind a facade of fake smiles, you have inadvertently betrayed yourself for the purpose of pleasing everyone else. And for longest time, your heart has ached. But you’re at a point now where you’re seeing things differently. The heartache just isn’t worth it anymore. Belittling yourself for one more day just doesn’t make any sense. And more than that, you now realize no matter what you do or how you change, some people will never be pleased anyway.

1. Choose to actively think better about yourself.

Good things don't come to those who wait. Good things come to those who are patient... while working hard to do the what's needed to move their lives forward.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

9 Life (Saving) Choices Too Many People Wait Too Long to Make

Self-doubt leads to a lot of self-sabotage, such as:<ul><li>Fear of getting started</li><li>Analysis paralysis</li><li>Fear of failure</li></ul> After trying many things in the past 8 years, these 3 solutions stood out:<ol><li>Rewire your self-talk</li><li>Focus on what you can control</li><li>Be kind to yourself</li></ol>

Why tackle self-doubt?

Self-talk refers to your “inner voice”—the way you talk to yourself.To rewire it:<ol><li>Take stock of what your self-talk contains</li><li>Rephrase negative self-talk into positive ones</li><li>“Install” the new, positive self-talk with affirmations and visualizations</li></ol>

💭 1. Rewire your self-talk

<ul><li>Use positive, empowering frames</li><li>Focus on what you can do about the situation, not outcomes</li></ul> Personal examples:<ul><li>“I’m the most inexperienced person here.” → “I’m a go-getter; what I lack in experience, I make up for it using effort and persistence.”</li><li>“This failure shows that I’m not good enough.” → “This setback shows me where I can improve. If I learn its lessons, I’ll do better next time. ”</li></ul>

How to rephrase negative self-talk effectively

Despite using affirmations and visualizations daily, my crippling self-doubt returned in tsunami waves whenever I faced a setback.This was because I was deriving my self-worth from things I couldn’t control. In general, you cannot control:<ul><li>The past</li><li>Other people</li><li>Event outcomes</li><li>Birth circumstances</li></ul> You can control:<ul><li>Your plans</li><li>Your efforts</li><li>Your response</li><li>Your consistency</li><li>Your mind and body</li></ul> Focus on the second list.

🧐 2. Focus on what you can control

Self-doubt will always come back. You will always be in new situations that create new fears.You will always meet new people to <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/teaforthought/p/how-to-get-out-of-the-comparison?r=1yp5g8&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web">compare yourself to </a>and feel inferior to. In fact, if you're not doubting yourself every once in a while, it could mean that you're not growing! So:<ul><li>Treat self-doubt like your health. Both require consistent, long-term maintenance, not a one-time fix.</li><li>Treat mindfulness like an exercise. Do it consistently to reap the benefits.</li></ul> And when your self-doubt comes back from time to time, don’t beat yourself up over it.Remember, it’s not a failure, but a learning opportunity ❤️

❤️‍🩹 3. Be kind to yourself

You might like my newsletter, <a href="https://teaforthought.ck.page/tea">Tea for Thought</a>!I'm on a mission to implement life-tweaking ideas for designing and living an intentional life.For every concept I discover, I strive to find examples and stories from my own life. This newsletter issue was inspired by 12 years of personal struggle with self-doubt.<a href="https://teaforthought.ck.page/tea">Come learn with me :)</a>

Want more ideas like this?

After struggling with self-doubt for 12 years and trying to "deal with it" for 8 of those years, here's what I learned.

If you're growing, you will have self-doubt. Here's how I dealt with it for the past 8 years.

career

Career

How to conquer self-doubt, over and over again

"Now! This Is It! Now Is The Time To Choose! Die, And Be Free Of Pain, Or Live, And Fight Your Sorrow! Now Is The Time To Shape Your Stories. Your Fate Is In Your Hands!"

"It is better for you to die in hope than to live in despair."

"This is our story! Now let's see this thing through together!"

"I've...Learned How To Smile...Even When I'm Feeling Sad."

I don't care how we do. Long as we play our best. If we give it our all, I can walk away happy.

One of the most beloved and popular RPGs of all time, Final Fantasy X was beloved not only for the gameplay which introduced new leveling and battle system, but also for its technological achievements: it was the first of the immensely popular series to feature 3D arenas and voice acting. As with the acclaimed Third Editions titles that delve into the depth of The Legend of Final Fantasy, this book goes deep into the game scenarios, themes, game development, music and gameplay mechanics. Nothing is left out and every detail of the game is analyzed and explained with unerring precision, including the controversial sequel game, Final Fantasy X-2.

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The Legend of Final Fantasy X

Find 100+ Mindfulness Tips & Facts - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

A Letter for Self-Love

6 Tips to Improve Your Life

10 Mental Models For Learning Anything

6 Powerful Ways To Master Self-Discipline

The Key to Happiness

Why I stopped being nice, so that I could be kind

9 Life (Saving) Choices Too Many People Wait Too Long to Make

How to conquer self-doubt, over and over again

The Legend of Final Fantasy X

Understanding and Using Dreams to Learn and to Forget — Episode #5

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

A Letter for Self-Love

6 Tips to Improve Your Life

10 Mental Models For Learning Anything

6 Powerful Ways To Master Self-Discipline

The Key to Happiness

Why I stopped being nice, so that I could be kind

9 Life (Saving) Choices Too Many People Wait Too Long to Make

How to conquer self-doubt, over and over again

The Legend of Final Fantasy X

Understanding and Using Dreams to Learn and to Forget — Episode #5

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.