If you find yourself on the outside because you look or act different you will spend the rest of your time as a new guy fighting an inward battle or tug-of-war.

And for those of you who, at the very reading of these words, are reliving the detrimental mistakes you’ve made in the past it’s NEVER too late to start fresh and anew.

Leaders put others first. They lead by example and appropriately challenge and encourage those they lead. They empower those they are responsible for, give feedback on areas for improvement and strengthen their team by emphasizing positive values, beliefs, actions and words.

In other words, what we choose to focus on has a direct impact on the end result.

Life and its challenges are simply what we make of them.

Your direction, after all, determines your destiny.

Former Navy SEAL Phillip Koontz provides an authentic perspective on his journey in the Navy Special Warfare Command in The Truth Behind My Trident: Overcoming Life and Business Obstacles the Navy SEAL Way. Koontz tells the true stories of his journey leading up to, during, and after his time with the SEALs. He demonstrates how the lessons learned through those trials and tribulations can arm you with the tools to overcome the personal and professional obstacles in your life.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

Phillip W. Koontz

Beth Tancredi

The Truth Behind My Trident

1.	The Concept of Mental Models	2.	First Principles Thinking	3.	The Map Is Not the Territory	4.	Inversion	5.	Occam’s Razor	6.	Hanlon’s Razor	7.	Probabilistic Thinking	8.	Circle of Competence	9.	The Pareto Principle	10.	The Availability Heuristic	11.	Confirmation Bias	12.	Falsifiability	13.	Second-Order Thinking	14.	Thinking Gray	15.	Margin of Safety

Topics You’ll Master Today

Mental models are frameworks that help us understand and interpret the world. They simplify complexity and help us make better decisions by providing a structured way of thinking. 	“To understand reality, we need to build a latticework of mental models.”

The Concept of Mental Models

This model involves breaking down complex problems into basic elements. By understanding the fundamentals, we can develop innovative solutions and avoid assumptions. 	“First principles thinking allows us to see the root cause and rebuild from scratch.”

First Principles Thinking

This model highlights the difference between models (maps) and reality (territory). It reminds us that all models are simplifications and can never fully represent reality. 	“Our perceptions and interpretations are not the reality itself, but a map we use to navigate.”

The Map is not the Territory

Inversion involves looking at a problem from the opposite perspective. By considering what we want to avoid, we can identify potential pitfalls and develop more robust solutions. 	“Invert, always invert: this principle helps us find blind spots and avoid mistakes.”

Inversion

Occam’s Razor suggests that the simplest explanation is often the best. When faced with multiple hypotheses, choose the one that requires the fewest assumptions. 	“When you have two competing theories, the simpler one is more likely to be correct.”

Occam’s Razor

This model advises not to attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance or incompetence. It encourages us to avoid assuming ill intent without sufficient evidence. 	“Never assume bad intentions when a mistake could explain the situation.”

Hanlon’s Razor

Probabilistic thinking involves assessing the likelihood of different outcomes. It helps us make better decisions by considering probabilities rather than certainties. 	“Think in terms of probabilities, not absolutes, to improve decision-making.”

Probabillistic Thinking

Understanding the limits of our knowledge is crucial. By staying within our circle of competence, we can make better decisions and avoid unnecessary risks. 	“Knowing what you don’t know is more important than being brilliant.”

Circle of Competence

Also known as the 80/20 rule, this principle states that 80% of outcomes come from 20% of causes. It helps us focus on the most impactful activities. 	“Identify the vital few and ignore the trivial many.”

The Pareto Principle

This cognitive bias involves relying on immediate examples that come to mind. It can lead to overestimating the likelihood of events based on recent or vivid experiences. 	“Our judgments are influenced by what is most easily recalled, not what is most probable.”

The Availability Heuristic

Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for and interpret information that confirms our preconceptions. Being aware of this bias helps us seek diverse perspectives and avoid tunnel vision. 	“We see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.”

Confirmation Bias

A hypothesis must be testable and able to be proven false to be scientific. This model helps us distinguish between valid and invalid theories. 	“A statement is meaningful only if it can be proven false.”

Falsifiability

Second-order thinking involves considering the long-term consequences of our actions. It helps us avoid short-sighted decisions and anticipate future impacts. 	“First-order thinking is simple and superficial, while second-order thinking is deep and complex.”

Second-order Thinking

Thinking gray means avoiding binary thinking and considering multiple viewpoints. It encourages open-mindedness and the acceptance of ambiguity. 	“The world is not black and white; embrace the shades of gray.”

Thinking Gray

This concept, borrowed from engineering and finance, involves building in a buffer to account for uncertainties. It helps us make conservative decisions and avoid catastrophic failures. 	“Always leave room for error; the margin of safety is your buffer against the unknown.”

Margin of Safety

1.	Mental Models: Simplify complexity for better decisions.	2.	First Principles: Break problems into basics for innovation.	3.	Map vs. Territory: Models are simplifications of reality.	4.	Inversion: Look at problems from the opposite perspective.	5.	Occam’s Razor: Choose the simplest explanation.

6.	Hanlon’s Razor: Avoid attributing malice without evidence.	7.	Probabilistic Thinking: Assess likelihoods, not certainties.	8.	Circle of Competence: Know the limits of your knowledge.	9.	Pareto Principle: Focus on the most impactful activities.	10.	Availability Heuristic: Beware of recent or vivid experiences.

11.	Confirmation Bias: Seek diverse perspectives.	12.	Falsifiability: Ensure hypotheses can be proven false.	13.	Second-Order Thinking: Consider long-term consequences.	14.	Thinking Gray: Embrace ambiguity and multiple viewpoints.	15.	Margin of Safety: Build buffers against uncertainties.

We must all suffer one of two things; the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

Unlock the power of mental models to enhance decision-making and understand the world better.

marketingandsales

Marketing & Sales

mentalhealth

Mental Health

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Mental Models by Peter Hollins

Es kommt alles wie es kommen soll

Du hast nicht zu wenig Zeit. Du hast zu viel Zeit, die du nicht nutzt.

Übung macht den Meister.﻿

Erst denken, dann handeln.

Man soll den tag nicht vor dem Abend loben.

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Deutsche Zitate

Understand that it's impossible to meet everyone's expectations. Recognize your boundaries and prioritize your well-being.

Accept Your Limitations

Identify what truly matters to you. Let your values guide your decisions, ensuring that your actions align with your beliefs rather than others' opinions.

Define Your Values

Stay true to yourself. Authenticity attracts genuine connections and fosters a sense of fulfillment that external approval cannot provide.

Embrace Authenticity

Establish clear boundaries to protect your time and energy. Communicate these boundaries assertively to avoid being overwhelmed by others' demands.

Set Boundaries

Invest in relationships that uplift and support you. Surround yourself with people who respect and appreciate you for who you are.

Focus on Quality Relationships

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, even if they don't always lead to universal approval.

Practice Self-Compassion

Saying no is a powerful tool for maintaining balance. Decline requests that conflict with your values or deplete your resources.

Learn to Say No

Perfectionism often stems from a desire to please everyone. Accept that mistakes and imperfections are part of growth and learning.

Let Go of Perfectionism

Value feedback from trusted sources that aim to help you improve. Disregard criticism that lacks constructive intent or comes from people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Seek Constructive Feedback

Embrace what makes you different. Your unique perspective and abilities contribute to a diverse and vibrant world.

Celebrate Your Uniqueness

Dedicate time to activities that rejuvenate and energize you. Self-care is essential for maintaining mental and emotional health.

Prioritize Self-Care

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are."

Embrace Authenticity and Balance. Discover how to embrace authenticity and balance in your life by understanding the importance of self-preservation and the impossibility of pleasing everyone.

meditation

Meditation

Mastering the Art of Self-Preservation: You Can't Please Everyone

Embrace parenthood as a chance to revisit your childhood, but this time on your terms. Engaging in playful and imaginative activities with your child can strengthen your bond and enrich your life.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Rediscover the joys of simple, childlike activities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create moments of fun and creativity that both you and your child can enjoy.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Use these experiences to build a foundation of trust and understanding.</li></ul>

Have Yourself a Merry Parenthood

"To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today."

Children often struggle to manage their emotions because they haven’t yet learned how to express them constructively. It’s essential to guide them through their emotional outbursts with patience and understanding, teaching them that feelings are valid and manageable.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Acknowledge their emotions instead of dismissing them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Use their reactions as teachable moments to explore and understand emotions.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Model healthy emotional expression by sharing your feelings in an age-appropriate way.</li></ul>

Emoting is a Skill

"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence."

Parents often face the challenge of setting boundaries without crushing their child's spirit. Learning to say "no" with empathy and firmness can help cultivate a child's understanding of limits while respecting their growing independence.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Offer explanations that help children understand why certain rules are in place.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Provide alternatives to the behavior or request you’re declining.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reinforce your decisions with consistency and compassion.</li></ul>

Saying “No” in Different Ways

"Children need boundaries so that they can grow into responsible, caring adults."

It’s easy to get drawn into power struggles with your child, but it’s crucial to approach these situations with calm and creativity. Avoid escalating conflicts; seek solutions that preserve the relationship and encourage cooperation.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Stay calm and avoid reacting emotionally to their provocations.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Use humor or playful redirection to defuse tense situations.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Establish clear, consistent expectations to minimize future conflicts.</li></ul>

Negotiating with a Brat

"Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."

Teaching children that effort is more important than perfection helps them build resilience and a growth mindset. Encourage them to try again, reassuring them that mistakes are steps toward success.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Celebrate effort and persistence rather than just the outcome.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Share stories of successful people who faced failure but kept going.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Remind your child that learning from mistakes is a valuable part of growth.</li></ul>

Another Try Always Counts as a Win

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that count."

Viewing autism and other differences not as challenges but as unique perspectives can foster a deeper understanding of humanity. You can build a more inclusive and compassionate relationship with your child by embracing these differences.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Encourage your child to embrace diversity and see the world through different eyes.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Engage in activities that highlight the beauty of various perspectives.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create an environment where all expressions of the human experience are valued.</li></ul>

Be Children Together

"Autism is not a puzzle, not a disease. Autism is a challenge, but certainly not a tragedy."

Raising children is a journey filled with opportunities to learn and grow alongside them.Recognizing their feelings, avoiding guilt-based pressure, and embracing mistakes as learning opportunities can help your child develop into a resilient and empathetic individual.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice active listening to understand your child's emotions.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Foster a supportive environment where mistakes are seen as learning tools.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Celebrate the small victories and progress your child makes every day.</li></ul>

Conclusion

"How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen" is a practical guide for parents, offering strategies to navigate the challenges of communicating with young children. The book emphasizes understanding and addressing children's emotions in ways that foster cooperation rather than conflict.

A must-have resource for anyone who lives or works with young kids, with an introduction by Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the international mega-bestseller The Boston Globe dubbed “The Parenting Bible.” For over thirty-five years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its respectful and effective solutions to the unending challenges of raising children. Now, in response to growing demand, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, tailor How to Talk’s powerful communication skills to children ages two to seven. Faber and King, each a parenting expert in her own right, share their wisdom accumulated over years of conducting How To Talk workshops with parents and a broad variety of professionals. With a lively combination of storytelling, cartoons, and fly-on-the-wall discussions from their workshops, they provide concrete tools and tips that will transform your relationship with the young kids in your life. What do you do with a little kid who…won’t brush her teeth…screams in his car seat…pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables…throws books in the library...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized according to common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential emergency first-aid manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders. This user-friendly guide will empower parents and caregivers of young children to forge rewarding, joyful relationships with terrible two-year-olds, truculent three-year-olds, ferocious four-year-olds, foolhardy five-year-olds, self-centered six-year-olds, and the occasional semi-civilized seven-year-old. And, it will help little kids grow into self-reliant big kids who are cooperative and connected to their parents, teachers, siblings, and peers.

parenting

Parenting

teamwork

Teamwork

Joanna Faber

Julie King

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

1.	The Fallacy of Supply and Demand	2.	The Cost of Zero Cost	3.	The Influence of Social Norms	4.	The Power of Free!	5.	The Cost of Ownership	6.	The Effect of Expectations	7.	The High Price of Ownership	8.	Keeping Doors Open	9.	The Problem of Procrastination	10.	The Power of Price	11.	The Context of Our Decisions	12.	The Influence of Arousal	13.	The Problem of Relativity	14.	The Power of Placebo	15.	The Effect of Emotions

The first price we encounter often sets our expectations for future prices.

Ariely demonstrates how supply and demand aren’t as independent as they seem. Initial prices often anchor our perception, making us think we’re making rational choices based on value when we’re actually influenced by arbitrary starting points. 	“The first price we encounter often sets our expectations for future prices.”

The Fallacy of Supply & Demand

People’s behavior changes dramatically when something is free. The zero price effect makes us overvalue free items, even when the cost of acquiring them (like time or effort) is significant. 	“Free is an emotional hot button—a source of irrational excitement.”

The Cost of Zero Cost

Social norms guide our behavior more than market norms. We tend to do things for free or lower pay if they are framed within social contexts rather than market transactions. 	“Social norms make us more willing to engage and contribute than monetary compensation.”

The Influence of Social Norms

Free items hold a special allure that distorts our judgment. The promise of getting something for nothing can drive us to make decisions that aren’t in our best interest. 	“When something is free, we forget the downside and overvalue the upside.”

The Power of Free

Ownership significantly affects how we value items. Once we own something, we irrationally overvalue it, making it difficult to let go or sell at a fair price. 	“Ownership changes our perception, making us overestimate the item’s worth.”

The Cost of Ownership

Expectations shape our experiences and perceptions. Our preconceived notions can alter the way we perceive reality, often leading to biased judgments. 	“Expectations create a lens through which we view and experience the world.”

The Effect of Expectations

The endowment effect makes us value items we own much higher than the same items owned by others, leading to irrational decision-making in buying, selling, and even everyday choices. 	“We overvalue what we have simply because we own it.”

The High Price of Ownership

We tend to irrationally keep our options open, fearing loss more than valuing the gain. This behavior leads to indecision and less satisfaction with our choices. 	“Keeping too many doors open can make us spread our resources too thin.”

Keeping Doors Open

Procrastination and self-control issues are common, influenced by immediate temptations that outweigh long-term goals. Structuring deadlines and incentives can help combat this tendency. 	“We procrastinate because immediate rewards often outweigh future benefits.”

The Problem of Procrastination

Price can influence our perception of quality and effectiveness. Higher prices often lead us to believe that the product or service is better, regardless of its actual quality. 	“We equate higher prices with higher quality, even when evidence suggests otherwise.”

The Power of Price

Context plays a crucial role in decision-making. We compare options relative to others rather than evaluating them on their own merits, often leading to irrational choices. 	“Our decisions are shaped by the context in which choices are presented.”

The Context of Our Decisions

Emotional and physiological states, like arousal, significantly impact our decision-making, often leading us to make choices we wouldn’t consider when calm. 	“Arousal can change our preferences and lead to irrational decisions.”

The Influence of Arousal

We evaluate options relative to others available at the moment. This relativity traps us into making decisions based on comparisons rather than absolute value. 	“Relativity guides our decisions more than objective assessment.”

The Problem of Relativity

Placebo effects demonstrate the power of expectations. Believing a treatment will work can lead to real physiological changes, underscoring the influence of perception. 	“The placebo effect shows how our minds can influence our physical reality.”

The Power of Placebo

Emotions profoundly impact our decisions, often more than we realize. They can lead to irrational actions that defy logical analysis, emphasizing the need to understand and manage emotional influences. 	“Emotions are powerful drivers of our choices, often leading us astray.”

The Effect of Emotions

Supply and Demand Fallacy: Initial prices set expectations, distorting our perception of value.	2.	Zero Cost’s Allure: Free items trigger irrational excitement, leading to poor decisions.	3.	Social Norms Influence: Social contexts make us more willing to engage than monetary incentives.	4.	Free’s Power: Free items distort judgment, making us overvalue their benefits.	5.	Ownership Costs: Ownership causes us to overvalue items, affecting our decisions.

Expectations’ Effect: Preconceived notions shape our experiences and judgments.	7.	High Ownership Price: The endowment effect leads to irrational valuation of owned items.	8.	Keeping Options Open: Fear of loss drives us to keep too many options, causing indecision.	9.	Procrastination Problem: Immediate rewards outweigh long-term goals, leading to delay.	10.	Price Influence: Higher prices are perceived as better quality, regardless of actual value.

Decision Context: Choices are influenced by relative context, not absolute merits.	12.	Arousal Influence: Emotional states impact decisions, leading to irrational choices.	13.	Relativity Problem: Decisions are guided by comparisons rather than objective value.	14.	Placebo Power: Expectations can lead to real physiological changes through belief.	15.	Emotional Effects: Emotions drive decisions, often overriding logical analysis.

Explore the hidden forces shaping our decisions in Dan Ariely's *Predictably Irrational*.

<ul> <li>Why do our headaches persist after taking a one-cent aspirin but disappear when we take a 50-cent aspirin? </li> <li>Why does recalling the Ten Commandments reduce our tendency to lie, even when we couldn't possibly be caught? </li> <li>Why do we splurge on a lavish meal but cut coupons to save twenty-five cents on a can of soup?</li> <li>Why do we go back for second helpings at the unlimited buffet, even when our stomachs are already full?</li> <li>And how did we ever start spending $4.15 on a cup of coffee when, just a few years ago, we used to pay less than a dollar?</li> </ul> When it comes to making decisions in our lives, we think we're in control. We think we're making smart, rational choices. But are we? In a series of illuminating, often surprising experiments, MIT behavioral economist Dan Ariely refutes the common assumption that we behave in fundamentally rational ways. Blending everyday experience with groundbreaking research, Ariely explains how expectations, emotions, social norms, and other invisible, seemingly illogical forces skew our reasoning abilities. Not only do we make astonishingly simple mistakes every day, but we make the same types of mistakes, Ariely discovers. We consistently overpay, underestimate, and procrastinate. We fail to understand the profound effects of our emotions on what we want, and we overvalue what we already own. Yet these misguided behaviors are neither random nor senseless. They're systematic and predictable—making us predictably irrational. From drinking coffee to losing weight, from buying a car to choosing a romantic partner, Ariely explains how to break through these systematic patterns of thought to make better decisions. Predictably Irrational will change the way we interact with the world—one small decision at a time.

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

Dan Ariely is the James B. Duke Professor of Behavioral Economics at Duke University. He also holds an appointment at the MIT Media Lab where he is the head of the eRationality research group. He was formerly the Alfred P. Sloan Professor of Behavioral Economics at MIT Sloan School of Management.Dan Ariely grew up in Israel after birth in New York. He served in the Israeli army and when 18 suffered third-degree burns over 70 percent of his body from an accidental magnesium flare explosion during training.Ariely recovered and went on to graduate from Tel Aviv University and received a Ph.D. and M.A. in cognitive psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and a Ph.D. in business from Duke University.

Dan Ariely

Predictably Irrational

A lot pf people say that young people just watch social media and don't do anything. That they are lazy and still upset. Everybody should have his own opinion but I'll tell you mine.

Young People

What do I think? In my opinion teenagers aren't lazy. I think that they just do what older generation couldn't. They can say anything they want, they can travel anywhere they want. I think they just can do more things and they have more rights.

More Rights

Of course some lazy teenagers exist. Many lazy people existed sooner, too. In my opinion some older people say that world is becoming worse and worse but every generation says that. But not everybody thinks that, of course. But I think people are still the same.

Lazy Teenagers

I don't think so. They just don't have to show they need rights. Why would they show it? Rights exist so they don't have to ask for it. Of course some young people aren't glad for it enough but they didn't experience anything like the older generation.

Teenagers Aren't Glad Enough for Their Rights

In my opinion social media isn't a problem. People can communicate with others and show them what are they doing and how they feel. If someone uses social media not too much, it's ok. Sometimes they exaggerate it but not all of them. If they don't spend too much time whatching reels on Instagram or videos on YouTube, it's ok. If they use it too much, it's a problem.

Social Media- Problem of Teenagers?

I think it's very well that young people can do anything they want and makes them feel good. Everybody can do what he wants . I'm glad that young people don't have to experience the same as older ganerations.

The Result

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Young people

The single most popular asset we all have is out mind. If it is trained well, it can create enormous wealth.

Although we have been successful in our careers, they have not turned out quite as we expected. We both have changed positions several times-for all the right reasons-but there are no pension plans vesting on our behalf. Our retirement funds are growing only through our individual contributions. Michael and I have a wonderful marriage with three great children. As I write this, two are in college and one is just beginning high school. We have spent a fortune making sure our children have received the best education available. One day in 1996, one of my children came home disillusioned with school. He was bored and tired of studying. “Why should I put time into studying subjects I will never use in real life?” he protested. Without thinking, I responded, “Because if you don't get good grades, you won't get into college.” “Regardless of whether I go to college,” he replied, “I'm going to be rich.”

education

Learning & Education

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

business

Business

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People

The Truth Behind My Trident

Mental Models by Peter Hollins

Deutsche Zitate

Mastering the Art of Self-Preservation: You Can't Please Everyone

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

Predictably Irrational

Young people

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Just about life

To Sell is Human

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

The Truth Behind My Trident

Mental Models by Peter Hollins

Deutsche Zitate

Mastering the Art of Self-Preservation: You Can't Please Everyone

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen

Predictably Irrational

Young people

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

Just about life

To Sell is Human

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.