Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

You are no longer in the past or in that situation. You are safely in the present.

Remind yourself that you have the right to have boundaries, to speak up when someone mistreats you, and to leave dangerous situations.

In this moment, it may be helpful to envision speaking to your younger self. Reassure them that you love them unconditionally and that they can come to you for comfort and protection.

The pain and emotions you experienced in the past might’ve felt endless, especially in this moment, but remember that it will past.

Remind yourself that you’re in an older body with new allies, skills, tools, and resources to protect and support you. What happened to you won’t happen again.

Fear can launch us into a numb, spaced out state. It’s time to ease back into your body by:

1. Gently asking your body to relax;
2. Breathing deeply and slowly;
3. Finding a quiet safe place to relax. Items like a blanket or stuffed animal can be soothing and grounding;
4. Feeling the fear without reacting to it. Fear is just another energy in your body when it’s not ignored or acted upon.

When faced with bouts of negative emotion, it’s easy for the mind to exaggerate the feelings of abandonment and danger. It may begin to spiral down a path of negative thinking or react to danger that isn’t there.

Refuse to shame, hate, or abandon yourself. Combat unfair self-criticism by saying no or refuting. Replace negative thinking with a list of your positive qualities and achievements.

Flashbacks reveal old wounds; feelings of hurt and fear that might’ve gone unnoticed all these years. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel these feelings and validate them as they come. Healthy grieving can turn anguish into self compassion and anger into self protection.

Build healthy and safe relationships. Inform trusted people in your life about your flashbacks and what they can do to help you. Take some time alone if you need it, but don’t let shame isolate you.

What prompts your flashbacks? Is it a specific smell, sound, taste, texture, or object? Is it a specific person or character trait people may have? Whatever the case may be, it’s important to identify these triggers and avoid them whenever possible.

Despite having flashbacks, people with C-PTSD may not remember their trauma. Flashbacks are a chance to discover old wounds, unmet needs, and unaddressed damages. Take some time to explore what you’re flashing back to, what it means, and how it makes you feel.

Don’t beat yourself up for having a flashback. Recovery from a flashback is a slow process that requires a level of self compassion and patience that may initially be hard to cultivate. Take your time and let yourself be slowly pulled out of it.