How to Reach Out to Someone Beyond “How Are You?”

Allowing your colleague to vent about whatever has been on their mind will likely lead to a deeper, more honest conversation.

They’ll feel like you really care about their inner thoughts and feelings.

By inquiring about their day, you are creating the space for them to talk about whatever has affected their mood or feelings most recently.

Plus, you might be able to find more immediate ways to help and support them, knowing what’s irritating or distressing them on this particular day.

There are millions of ways to find joy even in difficult times, but for some reason we are always prone to focusing on the negative.

By asking this question, you’ll remind your friend that there is still at least something that’s good and redeeming to be grateful for.

If you know for a fact that your partner is going through a rough patch, it’s nice to ask a question that acknowledges the difficulty head-on.

This is also a good way to start the conversation with an undertone of empathy; you’re recognizing that they might not be doing too well right now, and you’re interested in knowing exactly how they’re getting by.

This is a rather sweet way of sparking a conversation about your friend or family member’s self-care routine.

Knowing what they’re currently doing to create a little positivity during tough times will give you a better sense for how you can also console or take care of them.

Telling someone that they’ve been on your mind will instantly engender empathy and connection, as they will know that you’re concerned about them.

“What’s new?” is a perfect follow-up question, showing them that you’re curious to know what they’ve been doing. Again, this is a powerful open-ended avenue, creating a dialogue for sharing anything that’s important to them.

Similar to offering your support, you can ask your friend if there is a specific task or activity that you can do to take the pressure off of them.

Even if they say no, it’s always nice to help in whatever way you can without being asked! 

With the need for social distancing making it a more challenging than usual to see friends, offering to video call is the next best thing for some “face-to-face” catching up.

Having authentic one-on-one time, even if it takes place behind a screen, is an ideal way to reconnect and make sure your friend is doing okay.

A final alternative to asking someone how they are is to open a discussion about their high moments and low moments of the week.

This will not only allow them to vent about their main pain points, but it will also make them aware of the positive things that happened too, which will definitely help boost their mood.