The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

• Many self-help gurus teach you new forms of denial and pump you up with exercises that feel good in the short term, while ignoring the underlying issue. Remember, nobody who is actually happy has to stand in front of a mirror and tell himself that he’s happy.
• Pain serves a purpose.
• The path to happiness is a path full of shitheaps and shame.

• The way to be happy and fulfilled, Manson says, is to not give a F*ck about everything we’re told to care about.
• Instead, get clear on what truly matters, focus your choices on those few priorities, and accept that in spite of that, you’ll still make stupid mistakes and suffer occasionally.

• If you are able to not give a F*ck about the pain your goals require, you become unstoppable.
• Finding something important and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy.
• You can’t merely be in love with the result. You have to love the process.
• Rejection of alternatives liberates us.
• Commitment to one thing offers more freedom than anything else.

• But when we choose better values, we are able to divert our F*cks to something better—toward things that matter, things that improve the state of our well-being and that generate happiness, pleasure, and success as side effects.
• When you give better F*cks, you get better problems, when you get better problems, you get a better life.

The only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in one’s life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or one person.

1. Pleasure is a false god: People who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed.
2. Material Success: Many people measure their self-worth based on how much money they make or what kind of car they drive etc..
3. Always Being Right: People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes.
4. Staying Positive: Denying negative emotions leads to experiencing deeper and more prolonged negative emotions and to emotional dysfunction.

• Fault is past tense.
• Responsibility is present tense.

Maturity == to become more selective about the F*cks you are willing to give.

Depth is where the gold is buried. And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up. That’s true in relationships, in a career, in building a great lifestyle— in everything.

1. Be comfortable with being different, not being indifferent.
2. Find something meaningful to give a F*ck about – otherwise you’ll waste energy on meaningless worries.
3. You always have a choice over what to give a F*ck about – as we get older, we realise what matters are the simple things.

• If someone is better than you at something, then it’s likely because she has failed at it more than you have.
• If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed.

• Instead of striving for certainty, we should be in constant search of doubt: doubt about our own beliefs, doubt our own feelings, doubt about what the future may hold for us unless we get out there and create it for ourselves.
• Openness to being wrong must exist for any real change or growth to take place.

“The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

• Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships.
• Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.

….…“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”

• The more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose, because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.
• Once we understand that root cause, we can ideally do something to change.

• Confronting the reality of our own mortality is important because it obliterates all the crappy, fragile, superficial values in life.
•  Simple optioning for your own values in life, already makes you beautiful, already makes you successful, and already makes you loved. Even if you don’t realize it.