The Four Agreements

• Speak with integrity.

• Say only what you Mean.

• Avoid using the words to speak against yourself or gossip about others.

• Use the power of your words in the direction of truth and love.

• When someone calls you ugly, it says a whole lot more about them and their problems than about you.
• Whatever issues they’re dealing with has led them to take their frustration out on you.
• The only way to really make this a habit is to become very, very self-aware.
• Knowing deep down who you are, what your truth is and that you’re good enough allows you to stop seeking validation and acceptance.

• In Miguel’s eyes, making assumptions leads to suffering.
• Assumptions often have very little basis in reality and are only real in our imaginations.
• To overcome this expectation, ask questions and maintain clear communication with others. This transparent communication prevents assumptions from taking hold.
• This agreement will help you avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.

• It means doing the best that you can individually manage, which can vary by situation.
• You can avoid feelings of regret and accept that people do their best at every moment.
• You will come to enjoy the action itself, rather than just enjoying the rewards associated with actions.
• If doing your best means working hard because you love the task, your work will begin to feel effortless.

• There are lots of them, waiting to be learned.

1. Start noticing the beliefs you have, which are based on fear and make you unhappy
2. Learn to forgive the people who hurt you, most of all yourself.
3. Remember that each day could be your last to stay in the present.

• … is a process that starts the day we’re born. You don’t pick your first language, you don’t choose your first school and you can’t control what attitudes your parents instill in you.
• Parents, peers, teachers, religion, all these influences instill a set of rules in us.
• As children, we have no power over them. We’re rewarded when we do good and punished when we step out of line.
• Compound this for almost two decades and you become someone who’s chasing brownie points, afraid of rejection and not questioning society’s rules.