Mental filtering: when we focus on negative details

• Upon submitting a project for approval, the overwhelmingly positive feedback is quickly overshadowed by one piece of constructive criticism. This can lead you to believe that you are doing a poor job, even though this is not what you were told.
• A colleague fails to greet you when you walk past each other in the street. Rather than consider that they simply may not have seen you, you assume that they dislike you, or that you have done something to offend them.

Mental filtering can have a detrimental impact on your self-confidence and personal growth. If the one piece of advice your boss gave you after a presentation led you to feel that you were no good at public speaking, then you may internalise that any future attempts will be a disaster. This vicious cycle can lead to intensification of anxiety and worsening of your mood. Furthermore, it will do little to improve how you feel about your next attempt at public speaking.

To manage this cognitive distortion, you must consciously start to manage negative thought patterns so you can begin to see your efforts and achievements in a more positive light.

First, recognise when mental filtering occurs. A key step to managing a cognitive distortion is to acknowledge its presence. Reflect on how you respond to life events, professional feedback, and social situations. If your glass tends to be half-empty, explore your feelings further by journaling, creating a log of voice notes, or using a habit tracker.

In psychology, a cost-benefit analysis is a technique used as part of cognitive behavioural therapy.  

On a piece of paper, create two columns for costs and benefits. Think about whether mental filtering benefits you, as well as what it costs you. Write each point down in a column and assign it a value of importance from 1 to 10.

It is likely that filtering costs you far more than it benefits you. The next step in the analysis is to think about alternative thought or behaviour patterns you could employ to see situations more positively.

 Asking your friends or colleagues for an objective opinion on your performance or achievements is a good way to gauge your ability or progress. If you have become entrenched in negative self-talk, listen carefully to what others objectively report.

Write down all of the positive opinions your friend or colleague shares, and focus on each one individually. Start forming positive habits and mindsets, and allow yourself to believe in your own ability, rather than focusing on the negatives.

Challenging unhelpful thought patterns and becoming more objective can help to avoid the automatic descent into unwarranted negativity.

Journaling and keeping an open mind when receiving feedback can help you recognise the positives. By avoiding mental filtering, you will be better equipped to mitigate the anxiety and low mood associated with any difficult challenges you may encounter in life.