Book Summary – 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote To Chaos

After each confrontation, a lobster’s brain changes—the loser avoids further conflict, whereas the victor gains even higher confidence and serotonin levels. Similar patterns can be found in other animal species—generally, stronger animals get more food, better “homes”, higher status, better mates, and greater cooperation from others. That’s nature’s way of distributing scarce resources.

Likewise, humans have a dominance detector in our brains. How we perceive our social/economic status affects our well-being which reinforces our status in a positive feedback loop.

People with strong self-esteem feel/transmit a sense of security and confidence, which makes them more attractive and respected. This improves their productivity and well-being, which further reinforces their self-perception. Higher serotonin levels are associated with greater resilience, happiness, health, lifespan, pro-social behavior, and leadership.

• On the other hand, people with a low self-perception feel insecure. They’re more likely to be stressed, jumpy, and reactive. They make poor decisions, fail to command respect/resources, which reinforce their loser complex.

In short, our self-perception affects the vibes we transmit to create a self-reinforcing loop. If you feel like a loser for whatever reason, the first step is to break the negative cycle by correcting your posture.

• Don’t slouch. It conveys defeat and low status, which prompts others to treat you poorly and reinforces your low self-perception.

• Fix your posture. Stand straight, push your shoulders back, speak up and make eye contact. This signals confidence to yourself and others. You’ll feel better, others will show you more respect, and it starts a virtuous cycle. It’s about standing tall, facing up to reality, and taking responsibility to become all you can be.

We tend to take better care of our pets than we do ourselves. When a pet is sick, we diligently follow the prescribed care. Yet, when we’re sick, we fail to fill/take our prescriptions.

We become the average of the people we spend the most time with. In the wrong company, we can end up in crime or even suicide. So, why do we hang around people who drag us down? 

In a highly-connected, populous world, you can always find someone who’s better than you—be it in looks, wealth, status, or relationships. No matter what you’ve achieved, you can still feel miserably inferior compared to others. 

children aren’t born with social-cultural skills—they must be taught how the world works and how to navigate human society. Parents who don’t set clear boundaries for their young kids actually end up hurting them in the long run.

Setbacks and suffering are inevitable in life. Some people respond with denial, helplessness, anger, or even acts of vengeance (e.g. genocide). Yet, others are positively transformed by adversity—they make peace with what happened and devote themselves to making a positive difference. Which type are you?

We can use suffering as an excuse to live carelessly in the moment, or we can do something meaningful to minimize the suffering.

All of us are guilty of lying to ourselves and others. Find out why we lie, how we get stuck in a “life-lie” because, and what it means to find and live your personal truth.

People need a listening ear. As a good listener, you can learn while helping others to solve problems.

We avoid looking deeply into a problem in hope that it’ll go away by itself, but this only causes the doubts and uncertainties to build up into a catastrophic failure. 

Some post-modernists argue that gender is entirely a social construct or a tool for men to oppress women and that hierarchies are created by the rich to exploit the poor. Peterson disagrees :)

Suffering is inevitable and some people just seem to have a worse lot in life than others. Peterson’s own daughter suffered from a rare juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and was plagued with years of chronic pain. If you find yourself wondering about the seemingly-pointless suffering around us, this last rule from the 12 Rules of Life helps us to see things from a different perspective and to balance the good and bad in life so life seems worth living.