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Many of us underestimate how positively others will respond when we try it
Among the many pains associated with coronavirus is a feeling of helplessness. Even if you are sheltered in place, you can do more good than you may think by reaching out to others and connecting. But first, you have to overcome the tendency to underestimate how positively others will respond when you try.
Beyond the bodily harm that comes from getting sick is the psychological harm that comes from mandated social isolation. The sense of disconnection that follows
For instance, before the current era of social distancing,
However, when we asked people to predict how positive their commute would be in these conditions, they expected precisely the opposite, thinking they would be happier keeping to themselves rather than connecting with a stranger. This misunderstanding stems, we found, from an underestimation of how interested others are in talking back to one if one tries.
Of course, in-person conversation is temporarily suspended by physical distancing, but technology enables us to still be very close to other socially, as long as we use it to shrink our distance from others. You can do this by engaging in more
In
In another
The surprising power of sociality does not end with more meaningful conversation. In ongoing research, my collaborators and I find that it seems to extend to almost any act we perform to reach out and connect positively with others. Those who
The same applies to those who enable others to help them by simply asking for help.
So, call an old acquaintance to touch base. Tell someone how grateful you are to them. Leave Post-it notes peppered with compliments around your house for your spouse or kids or roommates to find. We now need to use all of the powers we have at our disposal to fight the virus that is infecting our citizens and separating us from each other. The power you have to positively affect others is greater than you think. Please use it.
The views expressed are those of the author(s) and are not necessarily those of Scientific American.
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Even in times of isolation, you can do more good than you may think by reaching out to others. And before that, you have to get over the impulse to underestimate how positively others will respond to your action.
We fear how the other person will respond. We think, Will this be awkward? Will they want to talk to me? But these concerns are exaggerated and they build a misplaced psychological barrier to reaching out to others.
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Technology helps us to still be very close to others socially, as long as we use it to shrink our distance from others.
Engage in more deep and intimate conversation, or connect through a more intimate medium that uses your voice rather than text.
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Underestimating how others will respond to us reaching out does not end with more meaningful conversations; it extends to almost any action we perform to reach out and connect positively with others: expressing gratitude to another person, writing compliments, performing random acts of kindness, etc.
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