The word but is an adversative conjunction. That means that it puts two ideas together, opposing each other, whether to add a detail to a statement, give it more depth, or contradict it. If we look at it from a psychological point of view, we usually use this word to justify things, put them off, or not do them.

One place we really use it a lot is in phrases like “Yes, but". Those two little words are really about self-sabotage. We make unnecessary or imaginary obstacles to get in the way of us doing anything.

Professor Roth suggests to replace those buts with the conjunction and.

The second big recommendation professor Roth makes is to exchange the expression “I have to do” for “I want to do” When you say “I have to do” you put yourself in the realm of obligation.

That’s very discouraging. It means that you might want one thing, but you have to do something else, even though you don’t want to. So using have to starts you off in an emotionally uncomfortable place.

Bernard Roth says that if you do something, it’s never because you’re truly obligated to; you’ve chosen to. So by getting rid of the expression, you take responsibility for the life you live.

• Switch “I have to finish this ” for “I want to finish this"
• Replace “I have to be patient with my partner” with “I want to be patient with my partner”
• Exchange “I have to exercise” for “I want to exercise”

Every time you switch have to for want , you immediately have to replace your negative outlook with a positive one. At the same time, you’re lifting a heavy emotional burden off your back.

So that’s why you can make a huge positive change in your life if you take these words out of your daily vocabulary.