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Building Confidence
Building confidence has two distinct but essential components: managing insecurity and building self-efficacy. If you want to build confidence, you need to work on both of these two sides of confidence simultaneously
- Managing insecurity: build self-confidence
- Self-efficacy: build confidence through managing insecurity.
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Managing Insecurity
The best way to manage insecurity is to acknowledge and accept it rather than immediately trying to fix it or get rid of it.
You need to build up the belief that you're capable of handling scary situations well. And that belief only gets built through hard-won experience, not clever insights or explorations of your childhood.
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Building Self-Efficacy
Coined by the psychologist Albert Bandura, self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to perform well when faced with a specific challenge.
It doesn't mean the absence of fears, worries, or insecurities. It means you continue to believe in your abilities despite them.
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Self-Efficacy Comes From Experience
- When you repeatedly prove to yourself that you can perform well in a given situation, you slowly build up a belief in your ability.
- Confidence requires managing insecurities well.
- It's hard to deal with your insecurity well if you don’t have the ability to manage them well.
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How to Get Started Building Confidence
Building self-efficacy requires the ability to manage insecurities.
Manage insecurity by practicing difficult conversations with your spouse or by having Chinese food for dinner instead of burgers.
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Start With Small Steps
The key is that if you’re repeatedly struggling to build confidence in a specific area, you need to practice with a smaller version of a goal and continue building up both sides of your self-confidence: managing insecurities well and building self-efficacy.
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