4 Mindset Shifts That Will Boost Your Confidence - Nick Wignall

Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favorable light at all times and under all circumstances.

When you’re in the habit of judging things—including yourself—in moral terms (right vs wrong, good vs bad), it’s easy to end up moralizing about things that aren’t actually moral. This results in an extra layer of guilt or shame that’s both unnecessary and confidence-killing

There’s a time and place for moral judgments. But if you want to feel more confident and resilient, be careful not to moralize things that aren’t actually moral.

There’s a time and place for moral judgments. But if you want to feel more confident and resilient, be careful not to moralize things that aren’t actually moral.

Like expectations, criticisms are not necessarily bad. In fact, we all need to be critical in order to grow, improve, and be better—both for ourselves and the people we care most about.

But criticisms are dangerous because they easily slip from healthy and productive to unhealthy and hurtful.

Be careful with criticism, including self-criticism.

One simple way to distinguish whether your criticism might be helpful vs unhelpful is whether you’re criticizing a specific behavior or action vs an entire person. In other words, don’t overgeneralize with your criticisms.

Here’s a counter-intuitive idea about dealing with fears and insecurities and building confidence:

The solution to internal problems is usually behavior change.

While it’s good to be aware of your thoughts and feelings, and to periodically reflect on them, most people who are anxious and insecure spend WAY too much time thinking about how to feel better and far too little time doing confidence-building things despite how they feel.

• Instead of: “If only I felt X, I could do Y.”
• Try this: “I can do Y despite not feeling X.”

• It’s very difficult to think your way out of worry and anxiety… analyzing your worries usually just leads to more worry, and as a result, more anxiety and insecurity.
• If you’re racked with imposter syndrome, you can tell yourself that you’re smart and capable until you’re blue in the face, but it’s unlikely to change how you feel.
• If you constantly feel anxious around other people, you can analyze your past and how terrible it was that your parents didn’t love you enough, but that’s not going to make your social anxiety go away.

On the other hand, when you commit to make small, but meaningful changes in your behavior despite how you think and feel, good things tend to happen:

• When you commit to going to the gym despite worrying about what other people will think of you, you’ll find yourself feeling more confident the next time.
• When you commit to attending small social events despite feeling nervous, you give your brain a chance to learn that maybe you’re not quite as socially awkward as you keep telling yourself—and as a result, get a little more confident.

A mindset is like your default way of thinking about things.

Mindset work is key to nearly every aspect of our emotional health and wellbeing, but it’s especially helpful if you struggle with anxiety and self-doubt and want to become more confident.