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“One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else.”
UNKNOWN
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Figuring out who you are
Building a strong sense of yourself can seem like an impossible task at times. It’s a lifelong project figuring out who you are, what you value, and what is important to you.
It is especially hard to know yourself when living in a culture that sends us constant messages about who we should be and what we should like. It makes it challenging for us to separate what we want from what other people want. It is hard to know ourselves and find our own voice in the midst of so many other dominant ideas and opinions.
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Build a strong and authentic sense of self
- Differentiate yourself. Look within, and distinguish yourself from your surroundings, allowing you to become more self-aware. Take your time and remember that knowing yourself happens through the daily decisions you make.
- Connect with yourself. When a situation occurs, take a step back and watch your process, thoughts, and feelings, without trying to react immediately.
- See challenges as a way to know yourself. When you’re faced with difficult situations in life, try to see them as opportunities for you to decide who you are and see what you’re capable of.
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Apply these actions to your life
- Make a real effort to have your feelings line up with your logical brain by looking at the facts of every situation
- Practice sitting with the discomfort that comes from your wants not being immediately satisfied.
- Think about your personal values instead of imposing them on other people.
- When people in your life upset you or you don’t agree with them, try to stay connected to them rather than pulling away.
- Have your own ideas, values, and thoughts even if others disagree with them.
- Look beyond your initial impulsive reactions so that you can see your real intentions, and act in ways that better fit
with who you want to be versus what your impulses dictate.
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Noelle H.'s ideas are part of this journey:
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