The Defining Decade - Deepstash

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Being unemployed in your twenties gives you freedom, and you feel like enjoying your life before the "real life" begins. But the dread of an unsecured future can be mentally draining.

So it is better to build yourself in your twenties and build your identity capital by gaining real experience. Don't worry, start with a small job which you will enjoy, and build up from it.


1.7K reads

The Ben Franklin Effect

The Ben Franklin Effect

If someone does a favor for you, they feel good about it and subconsciously they start liking you.

As long as the help you ask for is not a burden for them, they will feel good about being good. So don't hesitate to ask for help.


1.73K reads



Don't just build your career around your passion blindly. You may end up being jobless, or barely making ends meet. The truth is that you have to work hard, no matter how passionate you are about something.

Find something that is satisfying enough, so that you can work on it for a long time but also ensure that you will be sufficiently paid for that work.


1.49K reads


If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult since we think them happier than they are.



1.49K reads



The most important decision in your life regarding your happiness is choosing whom you are going to marry. This single decision will greatly decide how happy you will be in the future.

You are going to spend most of the rest of your life with your spouse. So put as much effort into this as you put in your career, instead of simply leaving it up to luck.


1.25K reads

Living Relationship

Do not slide into a Living Relationship too soon. Many couples start living together casually just out of convenience or to spend more time together.

While it is true that cohabitation might help you to understand your partner better, you should make sure that you are committed enough to that relationship. Otherwise, due to many years of living together, you might get locked in a relationship you don't want to be in.


1.23K reads


What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.



1.35K reads

Brain Development

Brain Development

Our brains do not fully get matured until about the age of 25. So in your early 20s, you are more likely to act out of your emotional part of the brain-amygdala, instead of thinking rationally with your prefrontal cortex. Hence it is vital to decide anything only after carefully thinking about it.

And in your twenties, your brain gets the last growth spurt for making new neural connections. So use it to learn important skills like controlling your anger, thinking rationally, coping to stress, etc.


1.22K reads


Inaction breeds fear and doubt. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.



1.22K reads


Confidence doesn't come from within. Instead, it comes from the things you have accomplished in the past. So don't sit around waiting to get confident.

Push through the procrastination and do something you want to accomplish. And that will give you the confidence to do more things.


1.14K reads



Fertility peaks in your late twenties. After that due to older sperm or lower-quality eggs along with poor hormone regulation, babies born to couples older than 30 are more likely to have neuro-cognitive disorders like autism, dyslexia, and lower intelligence.

Hence it is important to plan kids earlier, preferably before your 30s to avoid any fertility related issues.


1.15K reads

Not The End

Not The End

Life continues even after your twenties. It is not the end of the world. Don't believe those Netflix shows which make it look like your twenties are all the time you have got to enjoy and to "live" your life.

Statistically speaking, you still do have a lot of time to "live" your life after your 20s. Life is still fun and exciting after your 20s. Make a timeline and think about what you will be doing in your life in your 30s, 40s, or even older.


1.09K reads


There is no formula for a good life. There is no right or wrong life. There are only choices and consequences.



1.31K reads



I read books and provide quick dense insightful points of the book. I also omit some points of a book if they are repetitive and are found in various other books. Hope you find it helpful. Cheers! Reach out to me on discord @rohitpatnaik


A guide to adulthood. Practical and insightful.

Curious about different takes? Check out our The Defining Decade Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

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