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5 strategies for conquering fear and anxiety, from one of the most successful self-help authors in history

https://www.businessinsider.com/dale-carnegies-advice-on-worrying-2015-9

businessinsider.com

5 strategies for conquering fear and anxiety, from one of the most successful self-help authors in history
Dale Carnegie is one of the most trusted authors in the self-improvement space, thanks largely to his bestseller " How to Win Friends and Influence People," originally published in 1936. His 1948 book, " How to Stop Worrying and Start Living," deals with tactics for liberating yourself from nagging anxieties that make you less happy and less productive.

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Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie

He is one of the most influential authors in the self-improvement industry, and the creator of the book  "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living", which deals with tactics for liberating yourself from nagging anxieties that make you less happy and less productive.

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"What's the worst that can happen?"

When worries overwhelm you:

  1. Ask yourself what's the worst that could possibly happen. 
  2. Prepare to accept the worst.
  3. Figure out how to improve upon the worst, should it come to pass.

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Gathering facts objectively

  • You can pretend that you're gathering this data for someone else, so you're distancing yourself emotionally  from the process.
  • You can pretend that you're a lawyer who is preparing to argue the other side of the issue — so you gather all the facts against yourself. Write down the facts on both sides of the case and you'll generally get a clearer picture of the truth.

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Generating potential solutions

Replace worry with action. Answer these questions:

  1. What is the problem? 
  2. What is the cause of the problem? 
  3. What are all possible solutions of the problem? 
  4. What solution do you suggest?

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The law of averages

It  refers to the probability of a specific event occurring. Chances are good that whatever you're worried about isn't likely to actually happen.

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Stop-loss orders on your worries

This strategy is based on a principle in stock trading:  Say you buy a stock that sells for 100 dollars a share and set a stop-loss order for 90 dollars a share. As soon as that stock dips to 90 dollars a share, you sell it — no questions asked.

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Handling People

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Appreciation and flattery

  • Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
  • Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.

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Ontology

Ontology

This is a branch of philosophy that deals with the questions of being and identity.

Ontological psychologists and social scientists start with examining our self in social...

Self-help vs Social science

Self-help literature, like information, exists as raw, uncurated, unexamined information, while social science is like knowledge, beginning with the aggregated data and the processes of thinking, developed and updated over time.

Myopic points of view

Many best seller self-help books like the much-celebrated How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie, written way back in 1936 provide a personal view of influencing and persuading others, which has later been proved to be ineffective.
This is because many of these books are detached from various social and economical facts, offering a myopic view of the world.

We all worry

All people experience negative or troubling thoughts from time to time. Worry helps us to anticipate and prepare for the challenges in life.

But for some, worry can be persistent and overwhel...

Most worries never happen

Many of the worries that occupy an anxious mind never come to pass.

People with anxiety disorders focus on the fact that bad things can happen. They also tend to face the same worries repeatedly.

Anxiety-reducing techniques

  • Write down your negative predictions and test them out. See how often they come to pass.
  • Allocate a specific time and place to think about your fears. Many find that it helps them escape from constant anxiety. They also find that when the scheduled time arrives, the problem no longer concerns them.