The 4 Attachment Style (With tips on how to overcome the unhealthy)

A secure attachment style doesn’t mean you can take for granted that your relationships will be smooth sailing. If two securely attached people are in a relationship, they’re starting out from a better position, but relationships take work for everyone, no matter your attachment style.

• Childhood source: When primary caregivers aren’t consistent in meeting a baby’s needs 
• Deepest fear: Abandonement
• Adulthood characteristics: neediness or clingy behaviour

People with an anxious attachment style tend to be very insecure about their relationships, often worrying that their partner will leave them and thus always hungry for validation.

People with an anxious attachment can benefit from what we call ‘rituals of separation, like texting during the day to tell that we're thinking of them. They make a conscious effort to acknowledge that they’re leaving and also that they will be back.

• Childhood source: when a caregiver doesn’t provide a baby with sufficient emotional support
• Deepest fear: Intimacy
• Adulthood characteristics distant, emotionally unavailable, may find relationships suffocating and avoid them completely, preferring to be independent and rely on themselves.

People with an avoidant attachment style tend to have trouble getting close to others or trusting others in relationships, because they ultimately don't believe their needs can get met in a relationship.

Actively observing your own emotions and considering how you pull away from others will require a lot of work. But that effort can be an eye-opening way to help understand your style and learn to let others in.

(the combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles)

• Childhood source: forms through a particularly tumultuous childhood, often one that may be marked by fear or trauma
• Adulthood characteristics: difficulty regulating emotions, heightened sexual behavior, and increased risk for violence in their relationships.

They are reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship, yet at the same time, feel a dire need to feel loved by others

Some people who have a disorganized attachment style can often benefit from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), a type of talk therapy that’s especially helpful for people who experience very intense emotions. 

(Tips are from:

https://health-clevelandclinic-org.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/health.clevelandclinic.org/attachment-theory-and-attachment-styles