11 Signs You're A "Boundary Setter" Who Needs Personal Space

No matter how extroverted you are, you aware and know when you need a bit more time and space on your own to recharge. 

Not only are you not ashamed of asking for this, you don’t feel any weakness or embarrassment about asking for it. 

You trust what you contribute to a group and you deserve your time off and your own private space at times. 

Another of the key benefits and signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that your relationships experience a surge in honesty and wellbeing. 

Far from being a relationship ender, being honest about needing space is actually a courageous thing to say. 

A secure partner is not going to take this personally and if they know you well they will understand that this isn’t a personal issue or conflict but just the way you are wired. 

Having boundaries in relationships doesn’t mean you are avoidant attachment type or anything difficult, it just means that you may need more space than most and have limits about the amount of physical and emotional intensity you can stomach in one go. 

Next up is that you set boundaries for your recuperation and space after attending group events or gatherings. 

Whether they were business or personal, you need your space after being around many people for too long. 

You counterbalance group activities with time alone and that’s just the way it goes. 

The next of the signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you enjoy socializing but you have limits about how much of it you want. 

In your personal life, you enjoy some deep and casual friendships, but you’re really not a social machine.  

There are times when you would honestly rather chill with a glass of wine on your back deck than talk to the most fascinating person in the world. 

When you’re feeling drained and need time alone, you’re not shy to say it. 

As such, you don’t feel shame or guilt about turning down an invitation or social event. 

Of course, there are times when work requires you to show up to meetings or socially-oriented events where you don’t have much of a choice. 

But as much as possible, you exercise your free right to decline some social event invitation. 

Of course being a “boundary setter” doesn’t mean everybody is just automatically going to respect your boundaries. 

There will be those who straight up don’t respect your need for space and those who try to manipulate you or take advantage of you. 

In that regard, even if you’re a fairly calm, you will observe that one of the few things able to push you over the edge is people who won’t respect the boundaries you set. 

If and when folks cross your lines, you don’t let them back in your good graces unless and until they sincerely apologize. 

If they accept that you need your space and say sorry for pushing you, you will usually give them another chance. 

But part of your boundary setting is that you’re not in the business of being a dupe who lets your lines be crossed repeatedly, especially by the same person.

When it does come to the subject of work, you have boundaries at work as well. 

We’ve all done crummy jobs we didn’t exactly want to do but had to do in order to earn money. 

That’s part of the experience of learning and growing.

But one of the top signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you will turn down jobs that force you into constant interaction. 

There are times when business and pleasure mix, and it’s certainly possible to make good friends at work. 

But one of the top signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you tend to divide your life into work and personal. 

You don’t tend to mix the both, and if you do then you clearly define the line.

There are times when even the most disciplined and self-aware “boundary setter” forgets to set boundaries or gets manipulated or persuaded into crossing their limits. 

When this happens you don’t beat yourself up. 

You stand up and you do hold yourself to a high standard, but you’re never harsh on yourself about falling short. 

You know that expecting perfection from yourself is a recipe for disaster. 

We all need space from time to time. 

If you’re a “boundary setter” then you just need a bit more space than the average person. 

This often means you have more gifts to give to the world but you need a bit more of a buffer zone to recharge your battery. 

Knowing your limits is a big advantage in life, so never be afraid to ask for some space and meet your need for time alone.