11 Signs You're A "Boundary Setter" Who Needs Personal Space - Deepstash
11 Signs You're A "Boundary Setter" Who Needs Personal Space

11 Signs You're A "Boundary Setter" Who Needs Personal Space

Curated from: hackspirit.com

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Introduction

Some of us need more space than others. 

There’s nothing wrong with that, we just have boundaries we don’t like crossed and need more time to recharge from social interactions and group events. 

Here’s how to find out if you’re one of these “boundary setters” who just needs a bit more personal space.

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1) You’ve learned To Trust Your Internal Compass

1) You’ve learned To Trust Your Internal Compass

The first of the signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you trust your internal compass. 

This means that you set your iwn boundaries and don’t look to others to tell you what you should or should not want. 

Simply put, you trust your own judgment. 

As a “boundary setter” you’re not the type who follow others easily. You trust yourself and your perceptions and judgments. 

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2) You Don’t Feel Guilty About Asking For Personal Space

2) You Don’t Feel Guilty About Asking For Personal Space

No matter how extroverted you are, you aware and know when you need a bit more time and space on your own to recharge. 

Not only are you not ashamed of asking for this, you don’t feel any weakness or embarrassment about asking for it. 

You trust what you contribute to a group and you deserve your time off and your own private space at times. 

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3) You feel more secure in your relationships because you’re being honest

Another of the key benefits and signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that your relationships experience a surge in honesty and wellbeing. 

Far from being a relationship ender, being honest about needing space is actually a courageous thing to say. 

A secure partner is not going to take this personally and if they know you well they will understand that this isn’t a personal issue or conflict but just the way you are wired. 

Having boundaries in relationships doesn’t mean you are avoidant attachment type or anything difficult, it just means that you may need more space than most and have limits about the amount of physical and emotional intensity you can stomach in one go. 

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4) You Find You Need Time Alone After Group Events

Next up is that you set boundaries for your recuperation and space after attending group events or gatherings. 

Whether they were business or personal, you need your space after being around many people for too long. 

You counterbalance group activities with time alone and that’s just the way it goes. 

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5) You Enjoy Socializing, But Sometimes You Just Want To Chill

5) You Enjoy Socializing, But Sometimes You Just Want To Chill

The next of the signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you enjoy socializing but you have limits about how much of it you want. 

In your personal life, you enjoy some deep and casual friendships, but you’re really not a social machine.  

There are times when you would honestly rather chill with a glass of wine on your back deck than talk to the most fascinating person in the world. 

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6) You’re Honest About When You’re Not Up For Social Events

When you’re feeling drained and need time alone, you’re not shy to say it. 

As such, you don’t feel shame or guilt about turning down an invitation or social event. 

Of course, there are times when work requires you to show up to meetings or socially-oriented events where you don’t have much of a choice. 

But as much as possible, you exercise your free right to decline some social event invitation. 

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7) You Lose Your Temper On Anybody Disrespect Your Boundari

7) You Lose Your Temper On Anybody Disrespect Your Boundari

Of course being a “boundary setter” doesn’t mean everybody is just automatically going to respect your boundaries. 

There will be those who straight up don’t respect your need for space and those who try to manipulate you or take advantage of you. 

In that regard, even if you’re a fairly calm, you will observe that one of the few things able to push you over the edge is people who won’t respect the boundaries you set. 

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8) You Expect Apologies When People Cross Your Lines

8) You Expect Apologies When People Cross Your Lines

If and when folks cross your lines, you don’t let them back in your good graces unless and until they sincerely apologize. 

If they accept that you need your space and say sorry for pushing you, you will usually give them another chance. 

But part of your boundary setting is that you’re not in the business of being a dupe who lets your lines be crossed repeatedly, especially by the same person.

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9) You Turn Down Jobs That Force You Into Constant Interaction

When it does come to the subject of work, you have boundaries at work as well. 

We’ve all done crummy jobs we didn’t exactly want to do but had to do in order to earn money. 

That’s part of the experience of learning and growing.

But one of the top signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you will turn down jobs that force you into constant interaction. 

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10) You Tend To Divide Life Into Extrovert Time & Personal Tim

10) You Tend To Divide Life Into Extrovert Time & Personal Tim

There are times when business and pleasure mix, and it’s certainly possible to make good friends at work. 

But one of the top signs you’re a “boundary setter” who needs personal space is that you tend to divide your life into work and personal. 

You don’t tend to mix the both, and if you do then you clearly define the line.

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11) You're Still Strong When You Fall Short Of Setting Boundary

11) You're Still Strong When You Fall Short Of Setting Boundary

There are times when even the most disciplined and self-aware “boundary setter” forgets to set boundaries or gets manipulated or persuaded into crossing their limits. 

When this happens you don’t beat yourself up. 

You stand up and you do hold yourself to a high standard, but you’re never harsh on yourself about falling short. 

You know that expecting perfection from yourself is a recipe for disaster. 

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Give me Space

Give me Space

We all need space from time to time. 

If you’re a “boundary setter” then you just need a bit more space than the average person. 

This often means you have more gifts to give to the world but you need a bit more of a buffer zone to recharge your battery. 

Knowing your limits is a big advantage in life, so never be afraid to ask for some space and meet your need for time alone. 

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IDEAS CURATED BY

benzherlambang

I read, I like, I share

CURATOR'S NOTE

If you’re a “boundary setter” then you just need a bit more space than the average person. Knowing your limits is a big advantage in life, so never be afraid to ask for some space and meet your need for time alone.

Benny Herlambang's ideas are part of this journey:

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