What's Empathy Got to Do With It?: How to Exercise Your Thinking and Feeling Muscles

Dr. Daniel Goleman gives three reasons why empathy is so important:

• The increased use of teams (that could spark different emotions.)
• The rapid pace of globalization (with cross-cultural communication that could lead to misunderstanding)
• The growing need to retain talent.

Leaders with empathy do more than sympathize with people - they use their knowledge to improve their companies in skillful and subtle ways.

Empathy is a process of thinking and emotion.

• We need our reasoning skills to understand another person's thoughts, feelings, reactions, concerns, and motives.
• We need the emotional capacity to care for that person's concern. We don't have to always agree with the person but should acknowledge their thoughts, feelings, or concerns.

• Truly listen to people. Pay attention to their body language, tone of voice, emotions behind what they are saying to you, and to the context.
• Don't interrupt people. Don't dismiss their concerns offhand. Don't rush to give advice.
• Practice the "93 percent rule". Words account for only 7 percent of the total message that people receive. The other 93 percent of the message is contained in our tone of voice and body language.
• Use people's name. Also, remember the names of people's spouses and children.
• Be fully present when you are with people.
• Encourage people, particularly the quiet ones, when they speak up in meetings.
• Give genuine recognition and praise. Pay attention to what people are doing and praise them
• Take a personal interest in people. Show people genuine curiosity about their lives.