💪Build a Strong Willpower

To be honest I still struggle myself to find the right dosing of distractions in my life.

I thought for a while that it was intrinsically a bad thing and tried to completely get rid of all form of distractions (social media, movies...).

It's just unbearable in the long run. I think that some part of us just needs a bit of entertainment whatever form it takes.

Maybe that's what cultivate our creativity and imagination or perhaps our brain just need moments where he switch into a more childish and effortless mode.

It's up to each one of us to adjust that level to remain in a growth state

This one is very harmful and quite easy to get rid of.

It takes time to admit it but we are no super heroes with superhuman will, whatever is the temptation you are resisting to, there is no better way to make it impossible or at least very hard for you to give up to it.

Someone who wants to stop eating sweets is very much likely to succeed over time in a house without chocolate than someone who wakes up every morning and sees a chocolate bar in front of him.

So just reduce the friction one way or another, it will save you energy and push you towards your goals.

Many times it feels better to just ignore one specific emotion that we are not ready to face at the moment.

Here is the thing though, emotions don't disappear with time if we ignore them they just get stronger to the point where you can't act blind anymore.

It's okay to ignore an emotion if you think it's not the right moment for you to handle it but just find a hobby or a habit that puts you in front of your inner self to prevent such as crying or having a panick attack in public from happening (for me journalling and occasionally writing on deepstash has been a good solution).

That's a really toxic addiction that unfortunately prevails in our modern society with always more people trying to show off with their new fancy and expensive product.

But as long as you will need the validation of others to assert yourself you will never be free nor happy.

Obviously it doesn't mean that we shouldn't care at all at people's opinion and refuse their love.

We remain a social animal. We just have to find of ways to impress others through our personality and intrinsic values as we should accept other's opinion if it encourages our growth but without being dependent of it.

No one is fearless and there is no person on this planet for whom facing fear is easy.

However, fear is often due to ignorance or false beliefs. We all have lived at least once that experience when something seems almost impossible to do and to go well but after doing it it turns out to be pretty easy.

You must see fear as simple black lenses that darken your perception. Just count to 3 and do it once then you will see the reality as it is again.

AKA discipline, this concept is hard for everyone but there are some things that are commonly forgotten or misinterpreted in it's application :

• There is no debate for the things that you dislike to do and that are detrimental to you (just don't do them)
• Discipline is temporary, it's just the step that follows motivation and that precedes habit
• We need discipline at first because the thing we try to stick to is hard but with time it becomes easier and we all love easy things (it's like in a game : no one likes to loose but you have to loose multiple times to taste the pleasure of winning

I will skip the part where I argue on why this is crucial, many studies have shown that the ability to delay gratification has a direct impact on our success in life.

Fortunately, this ability is not static, it can change over time if we work on it.

The fact is that our brain is naturally made to favor immediate pleasures for evolutionary reasons but we all tried the pleasure race and there is always that one new little thing that you want or that you want more of that makes you unhappy.

True happiness comes from seeing the fruit of hard labor that you put your heart and soul into.