Inspired Snips's Key Ideas from The 11 Laws of Likability
by Michelle Tillis Lederman
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1. The Law of Authenticity
- When you are authentic, you connect fully with people, making your relationships more natural and enduring.
- Authenticity leads to feeling better about oneself and others.
- People can sense when someone is being fake.
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2. The Law of Self-Image
- Your perception is your reality. So, how you assess your capabilities and knowledge shapes your message to others.
- Focus on strengths and generate positive self-images. Do this by reminding yourself of your successes and celebrating your little victories.
- Don’t overly focus on your weaknesses to avoid generating self-sabotaging thoughts about yourself, thus building up self-doubt.
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3. The Law of Perception
- How you perceive others shapes your interactions with them, and vice versa.
- Strive to see the best in people.
- We have three tools in our communication arsenal — verbal, our spoken words; vocal, the intonation of our voice; and visual, our facial expressions and body language.
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4. The Law of Energy
- Energy is contagious. The energy you project influences how others respond to you.
- To improve your mood and vibrations, recall some pleasant memories and immerse in them for a while.
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5. The Law of Curiosity
- People love to talk, and they will if you prompt them into a conversation by asking them something about themselves or something you know they find interesting.
- Use open-ended question (start with what, how, why or how come) rather than yes/no questions.
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6. The Law of Listening
- Make people feel heard and understood by practicing different levels of listening.
- Inward Listening - take what is said and find a way to relate it to your experiences, discover shared interests.
- Outward Listening - connect the dots between the speaker's words and your knowledge of their experiences and background (responding with “Why do you like it?”). Goal is to uncover more of the other person’s interests and perspectives.
- Intuitive Listening - hear out what the other party is saying and focus on how it is being said, it entails paying close attention to the speaker's non-verbal cues.
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7. The Law of Similarity
- People are drawn to those who are similar to them.
- Find common ground to build rapport and strengthen connections.
- The law of similarity also explains why word-of-mouth marketing is so effective. The better we know the source, the more we trust it.
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8. The Law of Mood Memory
- People remember how you make them feel. Ensure your interactions leave a positive emotional impact.
- The easiest way to build positive mood memories of you in the people you interact with is to apply the first seven laws of likability consistently because the eighth law is a culmination of the first seven.
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9. The Law of Familiarity
- The more people hear from or about us, the more comfortable they feel with us - repeated interactions build familiarity and trust.
- Do this by staying in touch with people and keeping the conversations going.
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10. The Law of Giving
- Give without expecting anything in return.
- Generosity and kindness enhances your likability.
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11. The Law of Patience
- Building meaningful relationships takes time. Be patient and allow connections to develop naturally.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
How to build the kind of deep relationships that have true staying power, bring genuine joy, and provide long-term support.
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