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There is an assumption that emotional pain and suffering is a deviation from a default happy baseline. However, it's incorrect. Psychological pain is everywhere.
The goal of ACT is not necessarily to reduce one's problematic thoughts and emotions. It is to help people effectively function while they are distressed and to promote more flexible and value-driven behaviors.
In other words, the primary goal is to promote 'valued living.'
Valued living is going about your daily life in the service of values you find important. Engaging in these actions creates a sense of meaning and purpose.
The symptoms of psychological suffering are problematic when they are linked to behaviors that draw us away from valued living.
Emotional intelligence (or E.I.) is your ability to be aware of your own emotions, to recognize emotions in others and use that information to guide your behavior.
When you develop you...
Our own fears keep us from confronting others. We fear that we'll lose something, hurt someone we care about, or that it will accomplish nothing.
Use plain language. The more fluent you are with real emotional language, the more clearly you will be able to think about how you’re feeling.
Get used to the idea of emotional complexity. When we feel upset, we're not feeling one single emotion. We are usually experiencing a blend of many emotions.
Training ourselves to look for and see this emotional complexity is key to better understanding ourselves when we’re upset and moving on in a healthy way.