When we disagree with someone, it doesn't have to turn into a heated argument.
Staying mindful during the exchange allows us to select conversation and debate in ways that do not aggravate the situation.

Avoiding a heated exchange

<ul><li>Start with yourself. How do you relate to the person or topic discussed?</li><li>Check in with your body. What are you feeling - are you uneasy, frustrated, angered, fearful? Note it, and allow yourself to be in it.</li><li>Pause, breathe, and return to your center. What are you arguing for or against? What outcome do you desire? Can you let go of your desire for it?</li></ul>

How to be mindful in an argument

<ul>
<li>Try to agree on what it is you are trying to resolve. Many arguments are the result of miscommunication.</li>
<li>When you express differing opinions, try to do so without coming across as angry.</li>
<li>If the disagreement continues, speak your truth even when it is difficult.</li>
<li>Remain calm and try to be respectful of the other person.</li>
<li>Keep an open mind to find a peaceful resolution.</li>
<li>Be thankful for the experience. It can help you grow and learn about yourself.</li>
</ul>

Defusing an argument

<figure><img src="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/10/26/well/mfrl-argument/mfrl-argument-articleLarge-v2.jpg?quality=75&amp;auto=webp&amp;disable=upscale" srcset="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/10/26/well/mfrl-argument/mfrl-argument-articleLarge-v2.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 600w, https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/10/26/well/mfrl-argument/mfrl-argument-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 1024w, https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/10/26/well/mfrl-argument/mfrl-argument-superJumbo-v7.gif?quality=90&amp;auto=webp 600w" width="785" height="520"><figcaption dir="auto">Credit...
Sam Kalda</figcaption></figure>“Just because we disagree with someone, it doesn’t have to become a heated exchange. Staying mindful during an argument allows us to choose conversation, discourse and debate in ways that do not escalate the situation.” — <a href="http://hollyduckworth.com/speaking/" title="" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">Holly Duckworth</a>, a speaker and executive coach who focuses on mindfulness.<BLOCKQUOTE>First, begin with yourself. Ask yourself how you relate to the person or topic at hand. Check in with your body. Ask yourself what you’re feeling — unease, frustration, fear, pain and anger? Whatever it is, just note it, allowing yourself to be in it. Pause, breathe and return to your center to become clear about your intentions. What it is you are arguing for or against? What outcome are you hoping for? Can you release the attachment to that?If you are upset, try to calm down and cultivate a kind and accepting attitude. Your disposition can change the tenor of a conversation in an instant. As a first step toward defusing the argument, try to agree on what it is you are trying to resolve. Many arguments can be avoided altogether when we realize we were never talking about the same issue to begin with, or it’s simply not something worth arguing about.When you exchange or express diverging or opposite views, try to do so without coming across as angry. If the disagreement persists, speak your truth even when it’s hard. Speak your truth without fear of judgment or retribution. Respond from the heart first and the head second. Remain calm and try to be respectful of the other person, even if you deeply disagree with his or her position. Keeping an open mind may help you to find a peaceful resolution.Lastly, be thankful for the experience. Even when an argument is uncomfortable, it can help us grow and learn about ourselves. </BLOCKQUOTE>Advertisement

Staying mindful during an argument allows us to choose conversation, discourse and debate in ways that do not escalate the situation.

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“Just because we disagree with someone, it doesn’t have to become a heated exchange. Staying mindful during an argument allows us to choose conversation, discourse and debate in ways that do not escalate the situation.” — <a href="http://hollyduckworth.com/speaking/">Holly Duckworth </a>, a speaker and executive coach who focuses on mindfulness.

First, begin with yourself. Ask yourself how you relate to the person or topic at hand. Check in with your body. Ask yourself what you’re feeling — unease, frustration, fear, pain and anger? Whatever it is, just note it, allowing yourself to be in it. Pause, breathe and return to your center to become clear about your intentions. What it is you are arguing for or against? What outcome are you hoping for? Can you release the attachment to that?

If you are upset, try to calm down and cultivate a kind and accepting attitude. Your disposition can change the tenor of a conversation in an instant. As a first step toward defusing the argument, try to agree on what it is you are trying to resolve. Many arguments can be avoided altogether when we realize we were never talking about the same issue to begin with, or it’s simply not something worth arguing about. When you exchange or express diverging or opposite views, try to do so without coming across as angry.

If the disagreement persists, speak your truth even when it’s hard. Speak your truth without fear of judgment or retribution. Respond from the heart first and the head second. Remain calm and try to be respectful of the other person, even if you deeply disagree with his or her position. Keeping an open mind may help you to find a peaceful resolution.

How to Be Mindful in an Argument

Avoiding a heated exchange

How to be mindful in an argument

Defusing an argument

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