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A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms.
Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements, exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority.
Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.
While there’s nothing wrong inherently with being charming and romantic, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only in what he wants to extract from you.
Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements.
When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
Some narcissists, being highly self-centered and self-absorbed, expect instant gratification to fulfill their needs.
A quick way to detect a possible narcissist is to gently say “no,” or “let me think about it” to a request you’re not comfortable with, and see how your date responds.
The narcissist often enjoys getting away with breaking rules and social norms, such as cutting in line, chronic under-tipping or breaking multiple appointments.
In addition, pathological narcissists often show wanton disregard for other people’s thoughts, feelings, possessions, time, and physical space.
Pay attention to how your date treats service people, such as a waitress or waiter, and other support staff. If he or she orders them around like he’s the king, or picks on minor service flaws, be aware.
Some narcissists will use their romantic partners to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill unrealized ambitions, or cover up self-perceived inadequacies and flaws:
“I can’t wait to show you off to my friends and make them jealous!”
“I talked my girlfriend into letting me live with her rent-free. I also get to use her car.”
A narcissist will frequently react negatively when you don’t give them what they want, in the way they want it. Some of the common responses include:
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong. There is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place he feels safe.
Narcissists need constant attention—even following you around the house or constantly saying something to grab your attention.
Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up. They constantly try to elicit praise and approval from others to shore up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they've received, they always want more.
Narcissists believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.
The demand for unattainable perfection leads the narcissist to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.
They have inflated views of themselves (they think they are better than they actually are).
They make fantastic first impressions. But the stuff that works for narcissists so well in the sho...
Narcissists lack empathy, they usually don’t work hard, and in a few weeks to a few months, they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.
Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get out of there.
There’s this concept called “narcissistic injury.” Pointing out a narcissist isn’t all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your life.
People with narcissi...
Those with narcissistic personalities are pretty good at turning on the charm. Watch how they treat people when they’re not “on stage.” If you catch them lying, manipulating, or blatantly disrespecting others, there’s no reason to believe they won’t do the same to you.
The first step in dealing with a narcissistic personality is simply accepting that this is who they are.
Some people with narcissistic personalities enjoy making others squirm. Try not to get visibly flustered or show annoyance, as that will only urge them to continue.
If it’s someone you’d like to keep close in your life, then you owe it to yourself to speak up. Try to do this in a calm, gentle manner. Tell them how their words and conduct impact your life. Be specific and consistent about what’s not acceptable and how you expect to be treated.