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6 Keys to Staying in Love

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201701/6-keys-staying-in-love

psychologytoday.com

6 Keys to Staying in Love
In the dating world, most intimate relationships don't turn into long-term commitments. This happens for different reasons: Some loving partners can't get past the challenges that ultimately end their commitment to each other. Some give up early, not wanting to waste time on something that is already problematic; they just aren't willing to put energy into a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

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Responding To Urgency

Responding To Urgency

Stay-in-love couples are authentic, open, and self-reliant, but they also urgently need one another at times. They trust each other won’t take advantage of their availability but know that when urgency calls, their partner will rapidly respond. Their mutual goals are to resolve and to reconnect, leaving distress behind as soon as possible.

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Dealing Constructively With Control

Dealing Constructively With Control

Stay-in-love partners know that the need to feel in control at times is natural and that it offers an opportunity for learning and helping each other. Partners have confidence in their own autonomy to not react defensively or take it personally. 

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Parenting Each Other

Parenting Each Other

As relationships mature, many begin to feel less willing to give that kind of unconditional nurturing, and might not be as available. 

Stay-in-love couples understand the importance of not letting those special “sweet spots” die. They know that their partner sometimes needs to feel that guaranteed comfort and safety, and are more than willing to act as the good parent when asked. 

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Requests For Connection

Requests For Connection

Good partners honor the other’s feelings and thoughts, especially when trying to work through difficult emotional issues. 

Stay-in-love couples don’t ignore a partner who wants to connect for any reason. Even when distracted or preoccupied, they try to understand what their partner needs, and decide together how they should handle it. 

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Refusing To Assign Blame

Refusing To Assign Blame

During a conflict, many blame their partner for what's wrong but find hard to look at their role in it amidst strong emotions. 

Stay-in-love couples know that their partner’s views must be respected and honored, however different they are. They strive to understand and find a truth that allows for both. 

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Resolving Conflicts

Resolving Conflicts

Honest and authentic couples accept that there will be disagreement and know that, worked through successfully, it can add interest and intrigue to a relationship. They also know that unresolved repeated conflicts can threaten and ultimately damage relationships.

They focus on understanding why they disagreed and how to better handle it, instead of seeking to be right. 

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Unresolved conflicts

The idea that couples must communicate and resolve all of their problems is a myth. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes.

Being honest

The last person you should ever have to censor yourself with is the person you love.

It’s important to make something more important in your relationship than merely making each other feel good all of the time. The feel-good stuff happens when you get the other stuff right.

Being willing to end it

Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture. 

Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.

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Pay attention and be present

When your significant other is speaking, it is of the utmost importance to try your best to give your undivided attention.

Too much multi-tasking when conversations are important can be damag...

Be emotionally available

It is important to be emotionally available to your significant other. Share your emotions, your thoughts and feelings with your partner and be willing to hear theirs. This creates a very strong emotional bond for both.

Be supportive

As partners, you should strive to be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. 

We all need support and should be able to find it in our intimate relationships.

Intellectual intimacy

What is meant by the definition of intellectual intimacy: being on the same wavelength, 'getting' each other, being able and enjoying talking ‘til all hour...

Emotional closeness

When you are emotionally close, it means you are vulnerable. You let your guard down and feel safe doing so. When you feel this kind of closeness, you can tell each other anything and feel accepted. You both can “feel” what the other person is feeling.

Spiritual bond

When you form a spiritual bond, you both understand each other’s spiritual quest and beliefs. You allow the relationship to have a spiritual competent.

Why do we not harm others, just because it’s the law? No, because we believe life is precious. That is a spiritual bond.